Dumb Ways to Die
by Bookworm1756
Summary: Okay, so this is how it works: for every dumb way to die in the song, I create a scenario for the characters to act out in this wonderful PJatO universe. So, 'Set Fire to Your Hair' would be an obvious example starring Leo Valdez. One chapter per day, every day until the House of Hades. Let's do this!
1. Set Fire to Your Hair

**Basically this all started when I was listening to Dumb Ways to Die. I had already listened to it before, but this time was special because it was where I got this inspiration from. And, legit, I'm listening to it right now as I type this.**

**So this is how it works: chapter one, equivalent to Set Fire to Your Hair, the first dumb way to die. I choose a main or mostly main demigod/legacy character from HoO, choose some guest stars, and throw the whole thing together. They can take place before, during, or after the war against Gaea.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Rick. If I was I'd be preparing for the world's agony of the House of Hades cliffhanger (whatever it may be).**

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_**Starring Leo Valdez  
Guest Stars of Travis and Jason Grace**_

Leo was working on the Argo II blueprints when Travis walked in.

"Hello, my fellow demigod," Leo said, turning as he heard him approach. "How may I assist you this fine evening?"

Travis held up a hand, keeping the other in a fist by his side. "I just have a question," he said.

"If it's about girls you've come to the wrong guy," said Leo. "But if you're really desperate…" He patted a nearby chair. "This might take a while."

Travis shook his head. "No, not that," he said. "And just so we're clear, girls are my forte. I don't need no advice."

"That was a double negative."

_"Anyway,"_ he continued pointedly, sitting down and ignoring him, "I was wondering what would happen if you lit yourself on fire."

"Probably nothing," Leo decided, nodding. "…I'm waiting for the 'but'."

_"But…_ what if a different source set you on fire?"

Leo frowned and gestured for him to continue, intrigued.

Travis grinned, a mischief glint in his eye. "I know it wouldn't hurt, but would you be in control if I were to pull out a secret back-pocket cigarette lighter and set your hair on fire?"

Leo thought about it. "I don't know," he decided, and grinned mischievously. "Hand me it, Travis."

He obliged, opening his palm and revealing a simple cigarette lighter. Leo took it and started it up, holding the flame dangerously close to his hair.

"Any parting words?" Travis asked, squaring his fingers into a rectangle as if he were about to film this.

Leo cleared his throat regally, stepping up onto his chair. "I know some people think Minecraft is the most dangerous and hardcore thing you can do," he started. "However, in the demigod world we prefer to light our hair on fire and be eaten by monsters. But if I had to choose, I'd still pick Minecraft."

Travis applauded enthousiastically, and Leo took a dramatic bow.

That was when Jason happened to stroll by the bunker doorway and notice them. "What are you guys doing?" he asked suspiciously, walking over.

Travis glanced at him, then at Leo, then back at him. "Do it, boy!" he shouted.

Well, Leo's hair caught on fire. It didn't hurt one bit, he informed them.

"But it's kind of weird, because I can't control it," he informed Travis while Jason stood to the side, face-palming. "It's a weird sensation. Sort of like being able to control the redcoats in Star Trek for your entire life, then BAM! Introduced to the real world where they all die."

"This is dumb," Jason told them.

"Relax," Leo told him, stepping down from his chair and leaning on it. The casual action seemed a bit off with half of his head on fire. "Nothing bad will happen—"

The chair tipped sideways and he stumbled onto the table, where he fell backwards onto the desk. It snapped in right half and dropped Leo to the floor, setting the entire bureau on fire.

"Well, there goes three weeks of work," Travis muttered, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Put out the fire, Leo!" Jason shouted, half turned away to shield his eyes from the bright flame.

"I can't!" he yelled back, struggling to get back to his feet. "I'm also kind of stuck."

Jason ran over to the fire extinguisher and pulled it out of the wall, running back and dousing both the flames and his best friend. Leo got back to his feet, coughing and spitting out white foam.

"Well, apparently setting fire to your hair is considered dumb both for mortals _and _demigods," he decided.

Travis snickered. "Setting your hair on fire," he repeated. "Classic."

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**Review! If you do you get a cookie. (::) (::)**


	2. Poke a Stick at a Grizzly Bear

**Disclaimer: I am not Rick.**

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_**Starring Thalia Grace**_  
_**Guest Stars of Artemis, Goddess of the Night and Winnie**_

Thalia snuggled against her warm autumn coat, huddled around the fire with all the other Hunters. Artemis was in her eleven-year-old form, silently eating marshmallows out of a bag while her group sang and ate s'mores.

Thalia loved being part of this. Watching all the other girls—nymphs, demigods, legacies, whatever—singing and having fun... it made her feel as if she were home. She roasted another marshmallow and placed it between two graham cookies and a slab of chocolate, biting into the gooey goodness. The warm glow of the campfire cast across her face made her smile, until a particularly large gust of wind came out from nowhere and blew it out, ruining the night.

Thalia sighed, getting to her feet. "I'll go gather some more wood," she told the group, wiping her chocolate-y hands on her jeans. She slid the hood of her jacket over her head and walked off into the forest.

She found a few branches, but most of them were soggy from the previous night's rainfall. Few were actually dry, so she had to wander deeper and deeper into the forest in search of more.

Something snapped behind her, too close to be an ordinary forest animal. Thalia casually lowered all her branches except for one on the forest floor, keeping that one held in her hand. The only sign given that she had heard whoever it was was a slight tensing in her shoulders. Whoever it was didn't know she knew about them, so now the elements of surprise were reversed. Thalia wasn't about to ruin that by pulling out her sword.

She nonchalantly walked backwards in circles slowly so that whoever it was couldn't sneak up on her, darting her eyes left to right.

Then she realized what was up. It was a fox, and it hadn't seen her because of her black autumn coat. (That was why it had dared to venture so close.) It stared at her with glowing pale eyes for a moment before darting back into the wilderness.

Thalia sighed. Being a demigod left you tightly strung. She picked up her logs again and kept searching for more.

No monster is going to attack you, she told herself. Camp's protective one kilometer shield will keep them away, and unless the monster was extremely cocky or ignorant, it wouldn't dare try attacking one of Artemis's Hunters. Not when she was nearby. But, of course, some monsters didn't know or really care, because they loved the meaty taste of demigod flesh so darn much...

Another snap. Thalia dropped the branches and pulled out her sword, instantly preparing herself for combat.

"Dang it," she cursed, stowing it away angrily. "There's nothing there; just quit being paranoid, Thalia!"

It was that blasted war. Both of them—the one against Kronos and the one against Gaea. All the demigods all over the world were freaking out every time they passed something even mildly suspicious. Thalia ran a hand through her spiky black hair and sighed loudly. She hoisted her branches under one arm and walked back to camp, tapping all the trees she walked by with a stick.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

_Unck._

Thalia frowned.

And the grizzly bear woke up.

"Great," she muttered, dropping the branches for what felt like the millionth time. "Just when I let my guard down."

The bear roared.

**-o-O-o-**

"Hey, Thalia," greeted one of the Hunters when she returned. "We heard something loud back there. You okay?"

Thalia grinned, placing the logs next to the dead fire. "I made a friend," she told them.

The girls turned to the forest in time to spot a large grizzly bear lumber out on all fours, walking in their direction.

One of the younger Hunters squealed loudly. "Ohmigods he's so cute!" she exclaimed. "Can I name him Winnie as in Winnie the Pooh?"

The girls ran over to check out Thalia's new pet, and she herself went and sat beside Artemis.

"I did what you told me," she told the goddess, watching the Hunters. "Tame nature—not attack it. To be honest, my first impulse was to do the latter, but I remembered your words and realized the bear was just defending himself anyway."

Artemis nodded. "Life truly is wonderful," she decided. But then she turned, frowning. "Defend itself?"

Thalia smiled sheepishly. "Well… I might have provoked him by poking him with a stick."

Artemis thought, staring off into the distance. "Poking a stick at a grizzly bear," she rephrased. "If you were a mortal, you could get killed like that."

Thalia grinned. "But I'm not, am I?" she said. "I'm a demigod—I am and I always will be."

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**This one was kind of obvious as well. Hopefully the next one will catch you guys by surprise (somewhat).**

**Review! (::) This cookie is yours if you do!**


	3. Eat Medicine That's Out of Date

**Disclaimer: You know.**

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_**Starring Hazel Levesque  
**__**Guest Star of Piper McLean**__**  
**_

Hazel didn't feel so well, and it wasn't because of the flying warship that was constantly under attack. There was a difference between that nausea and this nausea; that nausea made her feel sick, while this nausea was _making_ her sick.

She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists by her side on the bed. She was supposed to be resting, but she wasn't able to get any sleep. Somewhere on the deck above, Coach Hedge shouted something like a warning to Nico, and there was a huge explosion that sent dust cascading down from the ceiling. Hazel felt some land on her face.

She sighed and swung her legs over the side of her bed, sitting up. She placed a hand on her forehead and realized that it was burning hot.

Obviously fighting twenty million monsters a day aboard a ship that made you throw up every half hour wasn't good on the body or the mind. Hazel groped at her bedside table for a box of motion-sickness tablets, just to remember that neither the tablets nor the table were there any more, as two days previously some monster marched into her bedroom while she was sleeping and tried to eat her. She managed to distract it by feeding it her bedside table, and Jason killed it three minutes later.

She stood and rested against the wall. Her fingers twitched because of her ADHD, and another blast shook the hallways. Something screamed and died. Hazel heard cheering from above.

"Hey," Hazel heard someone say, and turned to find Piper leaning out of her bedroom doorway with tired eyes.

"Whoever they were fighting was just conquered," Hazel offered, and Piper nodded slowly.

"Can't sleep," she told her. "I'm so…"—she yawned, stretching—"…tired, but I can't sleep." She rubbed her eyes. "Don't know why."

"I'm sick," Hazel announced, sniffling.

"Yeah, you look terrible," she said, and began to laugh. Hazel noticed it sounded a bit hysterical. "I probably don't look any better, but I don't care. I just want to sleep."

They heard Nico and Hedge thundering down to their rooms as their battle-shifts ended. Next were Frank and Jason, then Piper and Hazel. (Leo drove the ship.) The girls only had three hours of rest left.

"I need some medicine," Hazel decided, feeling her forehead again. "Do you know where I could get some?"

Piper tried to smile and joke, "Probably the medical bay, where all the medicine is."

Hazel nodded once sleepily. "You get some sleep while you can," she told her friend, and Piper nodded, slipping back into her room. The door closed behind her.

In the medical bay, Hazel opened the medicine cabinet and ran her eyes over her options. She chose those disgusting Advil pills and sat down, popping the lid off and swallowing two.

She gagged. Her eyes watered and she tasted bile. She barely had time to stagger over to a nearby bucket before she puked. Hazel groaned and grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth, then threw up again.

Once she didn't feel so icky and gross, she stumbled over to the Advil box and checked the expiry date. Of course. October 12, 2010. Why Leo packed expired medicine on his flying warship of 'awesomeness' was a mystery to her. She threw the pack in the garbage as she stormed out. She didn't feel as sick anymore, but maybe that was because she had already thrown up everything she could.

She and Leo would need to have a talk about grocery shopping.

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**Thumbs up to anyone who realizes what day October 12, 2010 is!**

**Also, I just got this amazing idea...**

**Starting on the second verse (so Take Your Toast Out With a Fork and the three lines afterwards), you can try to guess what the characters will be in groups of four. The first person to get an entire verse right gets a chapter dedication and four cookies. But if you want you can try to guess the entire thing...**

**Review. Please?**


	4. Use Your Private Parts as Piranha Bait

**Disclaimer: The same as always.**

**This oneshot is a little more... angst and tragedy. I was sad while I wrote it. You can also tell the star of this particular story is going to be Percy Jackson, but I made the scenario (hopefully) a bit more different than you thought would happen.**

**So, without further ado, I present to you—**

**No one reads AN notes anyway. Why am I bothering?**

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_**Starring Percy Jackson**_

Percy fought off one last monster from the Argo II docks before he collapsed against the mast, exhausted.

_What a month._

For exactly one week and two days he and Annabeth had been stranded in Tartarus, forging ahead to the Doors of Death with only the smallest of rays of hope to guide them. The things they had seen down there... That was a scar that would never heal.

But the worse part was that the monsters couldn't die when killed.

Subconsciously, though, Percy had also became a better warrior—down in hell, you were forced to trust your instincts, so your reaction-time became faster, and you could hear even the softest of footsteps stalk you as you slept.

Unfortunately, though, these things left him extremely jumpy. Even the slightest disturbance set him on attack-mode. But that could also be a good thing (sometimes) when you were defending a giant flying warship from monsters.

Someone patted him on the shoulder, and he looked up to find it was Annabeth. "Sleep," she said, not making it sound like a suggestion. "You are exhausted. You need some rest."

Unwillingly, Percy nodded and stood up again. He walked down the staircase to the second level, to where all the rooms were, and into his. He fell asleep almost instantly.

**-o-O-o-**

_Monsters… everywhere…_

_Clawing at him… as he closed the doors of death before them…_

_Shrieks of anger and rage… thirst for blood…_

_Annabeth… falling into Tartarus…_

_…and Percy leaping after her._

_Falling and falling, feeling the wind rush by him as time seemed to slow down. Annabeth fell beside him, her eyes closed. She was barely breathing. And she seemed so peaceful…_

___…and __so dead. Percy reached out and brushed his fingers across her face, and suddenly her eyes snapped open, blood red. She shrieked horribly, vicious fangs replacing her beautiful teeth. He finally landed on firm ground, but only for a second until it disappeared from underneath him, and then he was falling again…_

_…this time landing in a pool of water. Percy broke through the surface, gasping and soaked to the skin. The water seemed to be pulling down on him, wanting him to drown. That was when he realized he was completely naked, and there were horrible sea monsters swimming beneath him. He kicked and thrashed, trying to swim away, but the water pushed on him and forced him to remain in place. The monsters came and went, until the only ones left were a pack of hungry piranhas._

_Then the monsters attacked. The pain was so real Percy cried out in real life, grimacing and holding his bedsheets tightly. He was dragged under, warm blood rising up from where he was attacked. He tried to use his powers to get them to leave him alone, but they didn't work. They were pulling him deeper and deeper__… and he couldn't breathe. His vision began to swim. Nothing was clear. His lungs desperately needed air, but he had none. The pain hurt. He hated the pain. White ate the corners of his vision, _and the scene around him shifted into another. 

_He was sitting at the very back of a classroom of a hundred students. All the classmates around him were either chatting to their friends or reading a book or doodling on his or her work__… _none paid Percy any attention.

_"Soon…" a distant female voice announced, and everything around Percy continued in slow motion. Screams and pained whispers echoed from nowhere, and one by one all the students around Percy turned in their chairs to face him. He realized they were all people he knew, and they each boasted glowing red eyes and demon grins. One-by-one they morphed into the background until only his closest friends remained. Just by looking at them, he saw terrible things that would happen to…_

_Piper… wounded, on her knees and barely alive…_

_Jason… a dagger lodged in his shoulder, staggering away from a dead Roman soldier… Reyna…_

_Thalia… pinned to a tree by arrows lodged inside her hands and feet, screaming in pain…_

_Frank… unmoving on the ground…_

_Nico… eyes widening in fear as a battleaxe came down on his head…_

_Grover… leading an army of satyrs and nymphs dressed up for war, roaring and charging toward the enemy…_

_Hazel… sobbing in her hands on a battlefield of dead…_

_Leo… gone… Percy didn't know where, but he just knew that he was gone._

_Then black. Just black and nothing else. "It hurts, doesn't it," a sleepy voice said, and suddenly Annabeth came into view. She was smiling brightly, as if she were in the middle of having a wonderful day. But suddenly it changed to a mask of horror._

_"Percy!" she shouted, fear in her voice. She turned and screamed at something behind her. "Help me!"_

_Without thinking, Percy raced toward her. But as soon as he reached her she disappeared in a shower of white crystals, leaving him all alone in a large black space of nothing._

**-o-O-o-**

Percy gasped awake. He shot upright, heart pounding. Without giving it a moment's thought he raced up to the deck, where Annabeth was.

"Percy," she said, spotting him. "I thought I told you to go to sleep."

He was so relieved to see that she was alive that he hugged her for what felt like forever. "You okay?" she asked him in his ear after a minute.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, pulling away.

Annabeth's smile was sad. "You're not," she said, shaking her head. "I know you're not."

And then he knew she had the exact same nightmare.

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**Yeah... sadness.**

**Anyway, since the story was so short, I'm gonna have a little story time.**

**(YAY STORY!)**

**Today I went to this presentation nearly six hours long organized by Free the Children called We Day in Toronto. I loved it, and I'm starting to look at life in a whole new perspective. So many great speakers and performers showed up, such as two cast members from Glee, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers, Imagine Dragons, Austin Ma. something (I don't really care), and that girl who sings "Stompa"—Serena Ryder I think.**

**I just made you guys jealous.**

**But there were also speakers such as Martin Luther King III, who was AMAZING, and Spencer West, a guy who climbed Kilamangaro... and has no legs. And a girl my age who plans on becoming Prime Minister of Canada, and a blind girl who talked about her own experiences of how she was bullied in school, and the first Canadian astronaut to walk in space Chris Hadfield, and so many others... and I cried _so_ much, and I think it was a wonderful experience and I recommend it if you should ever have the wonderful opportunity of going.**

**(And I think Carly Rae Jepson is making an appearance in Minnesota with Bridget Medler...)**

**Review, please!**


	5. Take Your Toast Out With a Fork

**Woohoo! Already on chapter five!**

**This one has obvious characters as well. But it's longer, so it doesn't matter.**

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_**Starring Thalia and Jason Grace  
**__**Guest Star of Ms. Grace**__**  
**_

Tug. "Tha-wia!"

Another tug. "Tha-wia!"

Tug tug. "Tha-wia!"

Hard yank that nearly sent her reeling sideways. "THAWIA I'M HUNGUI FEED ME!"

Thalia looked down at her little brother and sighed on the inside. The small two-year-old boy was impressively strong for his age, and the fact that he had almost said her name properly was great improvement.

She knelt down on the kitchen room floor to reach his level. "You want a snack?" she asked him in a baby voice. Lightning flashed outside—the storm raging that night was pretty impressive.

"Yes, Tha-wia. I'm hungui." Jason looked down at his shirt and lifted it up, poking his tummy experimentally.

Thalia smiled and picked up her baby brother, setting him down on the kitchen table. She had been doing homework at the time, but her two-page essay on her summer vacation could wait a few minutes. She made sure Jason wasn't in danger of falling off the table, and rummaged through the pantry.

"Ugh… you want peanut butter and jelly, Jason?" she asked, not pleased with her options. Mom hadn't gone shopping (or sent someone else to do her shopping for her) for at least two weeks. She and Jason had been living off of cafeteria food Thalia had smuggled home. "Well, there isn't any peanut better—or jelly—but you could use butter…" She checked the fridge. "Aha! Butter!" Thalia took it out to find there was only enough left for one person. "You better eat this all, Jason," she warned her brother teasingly as she popped the second to last slice of bread in the house into the broken toaster. (You had to eject the bread manually.)

Someone shouted loudly in the living room and Thalia rolled her eyes. It was Mom and her friends—probably all drunk. It was likely, at this time of night. Her eyes drifted to a magazine lying on the kitchen counter, lying open on a page that someone had circled in a large black sharpie.

_Superstar Mom… a Mom?_

The article continued, saying,

_Grace's life is full of complications nowadays—meetings and films and interviews… and kids!_

_She's never talked about family, so we've always thought she never had one! But somehow she's managed to keep two children under the radar for nearly an entire decade! It all came apart, though, when a nine-year-old girl later revealed to be her daughter stormed out of the house with tears streaming her face, baby brother in arm._

Below that was the grainy picture of Thalia running away after she and her mother had gotten into a fight. Not wanting to leave Jason behind, she had brought him along too. She had never really meant to run away—when she was going to she was going to cut her hair differently and pack a bag or two—but the press had made it sound as if she was going to become a hobo if the police hadn't stopped her six blocks away from home.

_But who is Grace's partner? She was never married to anyone. Another secret, perhaps? Does she keep him locked up inside that mysterious house of hers as well, away from paparazzi and public interaction of any kind?_

There was more, but Thalia didn't continue reading. She turned to her brother, who was currently doodling all over her homework. Thunder sounded in the distance.

"Oh, Jason," she said, picking him up and pacing back and forth. "What am I going to do?"

More lightning flashed, and Ms. Grace squealed from inside the living room. Shouts could be heard, and Thalia asked Jason how his day had been so that he wouldn't notice the swearing. But she paid attention to the swearing rather than her brother.

"…Do you really have kids, like the news says?" someone asked her mother.

There was a pause, as if Ms. Grace was considering it. "When has paparazzi been wrong before?" she asked sluggishly, and Thalia closed her eyes, trying to remove the image of her drunk mother from her head. Unfortunately, she saw it a lot. "But yeah. Two kids." She paused. "Kids!" she called. "Get in here! People want to meet you and stuff!"

Thalia didn't move. Maybe if she didn't reply Mom would be too drunk to actually remember she called them.

"I said get in here, you stupid—!"

Thalia winced, placing her hands over Jason's ears to block out the absurd profanity. Tears suddenly swelled from nowhere. Who swore like that at their own children? Not for the first time she wished she didn't have a superstar mom, but lived in a normal family with two parents. She wouldn't have cared if they were divorced, even. Wiping her eyes and composing herself until you couldn't tell she had been on the verge of tears, she carried Jason into the living room next door.

There were four friends, all seated on couches, smoking and drinking different alcoholic beverages. Grace smiled openly, swishing around the little beer remaining at the bottom of her bottle. The TV played a soccer game in some other country, and none of them were watching.

"Children!" she greeted. "Meet friends. Friends, meet children. This is John and Tina."

"Jason and Thalia, Mom."

She laughed. "Tina… Thalia… it's the same thing, dear."

Thalia simply nodded, looking for her way out.

Lightning flashed and thunder sounded almost at the same time. One of Grace's friends dropped their drink in surprise, and then began to laugh uncannily.

"Come, dear," said Grace, sliding over on the couch and patting the seat beside her. "Sit for a minute. Talk to us."

"Uh… I was actually doing homework—"

"Silliness, Taylor. Silliness. You're the daughter of a superstar and you don't need to do homework. Sit."

Thalia set Jason on the ground and hesitantly sat next to her mother, trying to keep as far away from her as possible without indicating rudeness. But Grace wrapped an arm around her and held her close. "How are you, dear? We're dying to know."

As Thalia was left with that, Jason heard the toaster ringing in the kitchen. He got down on his hands and knees and crawled there.

The toaster was too high up for him to reach, so he pushed a chair over and climbed up using that. (He was a very advanced two-year-old.) Crawling across the counter, he reached the toaster and squeezed his fingers in between the crack to grab the toast out. Instead he just learned it was hot.

Jason yelled out and began to cry. After a few minutes he realized no one was coming for him, and stopped. He hadn't burned himself, though, so he was okay. Looking around for something to take the toast out, his eyes laid upon a fork left carelessly on the counter.

Grinning, he reached out and grabbed it in his meaty baby fingers, jamming it into the toaster.

His hair stood on end and his shoes came flying off, but other than that he wasn't hurt. Jason let go of the handle, the fork still sticking out of the toaster. Smiling, he touched it and felt the electricity course through him. He touched the metal sink and saw a spark so large it flashed white. He didn't feel anything. Laughing delightedly, he did it again and again.

No one bothered search for the baby until after their hangovers, two days later.

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**Poor baby Jason... ah well. At least he doesn't kill himself.**


	6. Do Your Own Electrical Work

**Okay, so now you ask "Why on earth does Thalia have so many oneshots? Sixth chapter, and she's had, like, half.**

**Well, she doesn't get many more later on (actually, there's only one other and I'm considering changing the plot of that chapter), so be grateful. Because this is possibly the last time you see her.**

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_**Starring Thalia Grace  
Guest Star of Ms. Grace**_

After Ms. Grace invited her over to her small party, Thalia hadn't needed to talk at all, really. She mentioned something, and her friend added something else, and they began to chat about something completely different. Thalia had no need to sit there and watch half her innocence fly out the window. But her mother kept her arm around her shoulders, and whenever she tried to squirm away she'd be pulled back.

One last lightning bolt illuminated the sky and both the lights and the TV blacked out. It took a few seconds for the house's implanted emergency lights to flicker back to life, but the TV remained dead.

"Hey!" shouted someone. "We were watching that game!"

_No, you weren't, _thought Thalia.

"Tanith, dear, fix it, please," said Ms. Grace.

"…Me?" Thalia asked. "How would I know how to fix it—?"

Her mother rolled her eyes. "Because you're the only one here who can fix the satellite without dying, dear. Remember your father?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know how to fix it—"

"Thalia Grace!" she scolded. "Do not make me yell at you in front of our guests! Go fix that thingamajig this instant!"

_Sure, NOW_ _you get my name right._

Thalia simply nodded and stood, walking out of the room. She knew there was absolutely nothing she could do to fix the TV—a lightning bolt must have hit the ground too close to a power line and given everyone in the neighbourhood a blackout.

She was about to head back into the kitchen to check on Jason, who she'd noticed crawl away while she'd been imprisoned, and to finish her homework (she was certain the adults would forget the TV in seconds anyway), but Grace rushed out after her.

"Tana," she pleaded. "This game is really important. You need to fix the TV."

"I don't know how," Thalia told her, surprised but mildly pleased how sharp her voice sounded. "Get an electrician to come in tomorrow… maybe the day after."

"Please," Ms. Grace continued. "It's two countries facing each other. I don't know which countries, but I know they are countries, and country versus country games are really big. Plus, our food in the fridge could go spoiled, and the heating will go down, et cetera, et cetera."

"No," she said firmly. As she turned to walk away, Grace grabbed her arm.

"I would have thought a daughter of a god would have had more initiative," she started, hauling her toward the staircase.

Thalia knew it was mostly the alcohol causing her to do this, but still felt extremely mad. "What are you doing?" she demanded sharply, trying to pull away, but her mother had a vice grip.

"Teaching you a lesson," she replied. They reached the second story and made their way to the third. "I'm sick and tired of you being handed first world problems on platter and taking them as if they as big a deal like starving children in Europe!"

"Africa."

"Whatever!" They reached the fourth story. "You need to learn to be grateful for what you have, and to start earning some of your keep too. I work day and night to keep this family in one piece, and—"

"No, you don't!" Thalia shouted, pulling away, tears in her voice. They stopped walking. "You get drunk day and night and the only thing that has kept me from running away is Jason!" She hesitated. "You are a horrible mother!"

Ms. Grace sighed, closing her eyes. "Stubborn, stubborn little child," she said. "What am I going to do with you?" She reached up and pulled a rope that dropped a staircase to the attic. "TV, Thalia. Now. I am very disappointed in you."

Thalia only went so that her mother wouldn't see the tears streaming down her face. She had always been thinking what she meant, but by saying them out loud she realized just how horrible her life at home was. The staircase folded back behind her, and she heard her mother walk away. She sat down on the damp wooden floor and listened to the sounds of rain splattering onto the roof above. She knew that the electricity line connecting to the house reached a single point on the roof above, and that her mother wanted to realign the connection so that the TV would come back on.

Not in a million years.

**-o-O-o-**

Fifteen years later, Thalia visited her old home as the Hunters passed by town. She leaned against the gate and stared at the lawn. The large house was abandoned and considered haunted by a few superstitious folk in the neighbourhood. A sad smile on her face, she made her way to the front door.

She picked the lock easily and walked inside, going up the stairs to the fourth story. Lowering the wooden staircase, she climbed up to the attic. Thalia opened the window and crawled out onto the roof. It was a spectacularly sunny day out, and treading up to the TV satellite was easy.

"There," she whispered aloud, turning the dish toward the sun. "All fixed, Mom." A tear rolled down her cheek and splattered onto the roof, running downwards and falling five stories to the ground below. "And I'm sorry."

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**I don't know why, but I imagined that after Thalia met Jason after fourteen years she'd miss her mom. I dunno. Just wrote this because.**

**Disclaimer: I'm a troll. But not as troll as Rick.**


	7. Teach Yourself How to Fly

**Okay, confession time, I LOVE this chapter. I hope you guys too. And it's LONG(er)!**

**Disclaimer: I hate this part because you guys already know it and because no one reads it anyway. I don't own these characters. Sheesh.**

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_**Starring Frank Zhang  
Guest Star of Hazel Levesque**_

Hazel sighed, zipping up her jacket as far as if would go and stuffing her hands deeper into her pockets. "You Canadians are crazy," she decided, trying to cover her neck with the top of her coat. "Canada is _freezing."_

"It's only December," Frank told her, talking as they walked. "Just wait until February."

"Oh, the wonders of winter," she sang sarcastically. "Alaska was just this cold, I remember."

"Technically over there is more north."

"Yeah, but over _here_ you've got the wind coming off from the ocean. It cuts right through your jacket and leaves you shivering like a skeleton."

The two of them had come to visit Frank's homeland all because of Hazel. She had wanted to try poutine and skiing, and had been surprisingly good at the sport; with the exception of the first lesson in which she had gotten so nervous a giant hunk of metal tripped the instructor. (Frank finished the hill on his face.)

After looking at the map of British Columbia for a few minutes, they discovered the hotel they were staying at was just a short one-hour drive away from where Frank grew up. So obviously they had to come and visit.

But all good things had to come to an end, and they finally reached the mansion (or where it once stood anyway). Once the fires had stopped raging and the area was deemed safe, all the charred remains were hauled out to the dump. Everyone assumed old lady Zhang had been trapped in there when the fire started and had been burned to an unrecognizable crisp. All that remained was a large empty property for sale.

Hazel noticed the nervous and maybe even scared expression on her boyfriend's face and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "We can still leave," she said.

Frank shook his head. "I need to stay. You can go, if you want." The freezing wind whistled, carrying the sounds of joyful neighbours preparing for Christmas.

She shook her head. "I'll stay," she decided.

They walked out onto the grass. It began to snow lightly, flaking the grass with little crisps of white. Frank pulled his jacket's hood over his head and exhaled softly. His breath came out as white puffs in the air. Occasionally they had to step over large boards of wood or broken pieces of furniture that had been left behind after everything was hauled away, and every time they did Frank felt more and more lost.

They reached the center of the area and stopped, standing there for a while.

"I'm so, so sorry, Frank," Hazel told him, hugging his arm tightly and resting her head sideways on his shoulder. "I wish this hadn't happened."

He didn't reply. The snow was falling a little more continually, melting as they touched their jackets. Frank looked around at the area, saddened. If he was remembering properly, they would have been standing in the living room.

But what was that? He frowned, thinking, then crouched down and grabbed it from where it was stuck under a shattered picture frame.

"What is it?" Hazel asked, kneeling down beside him.

"A plastic bag," he replied. "But I think what's important is what's inside it." He unlocked the zip lock and pulled out an envelope. He turned it over and the shock nearly drew the breath from his lungs. Right there on the back was his grandmother's signature, clear as day.

"Oh, gods," said Hazel. "Open the envelope. See what's inside."

But instead Frank tucked it inside his jacket pocket. "Later," he decided. "The snow will make it wet. And it's cold out."

_"Just_ cold?" Hazel joked teasingly, bringing back the good mood. "It's _freezing_ out here, Zhang. I'm surprised my nose hasn't fallen off."

He kissed her on the nose. "There. All better," he said. "Now let's head back. We have a long hour of driving to do before getting back to the hotel."

**-o-O-o-**

_Fai,_

_I will have you know those horrible ogre monsters did not manage to catch me. I told you I would die by my own accords, and so I shall._

_If you are reading this I know you have discovered your ancestor's power. If you are not then I assume you have died in some painful nasty way, and hope that death has taught you a lesson—don't be killed in painful nasty ways. It hurts._

_But I know you have probably figured out your power. Remember to be reasonable with it. No three-headed dog beasts, please. It would be a pity to have someone of your power to die because of a simple mistake. But it can be used for relatively amazing animals as well. Use your imagination, Fai. Think of the Chinese tales of mythological beasts your mother used to read to you._

_Good job on saving the world. I am proud of you, and Emily would be too._

_-Grandmother_

_PS: By now that girl would be your girlfriend. Stay close to her. She is a keeper._

_PPS: If whoever is reading this isn't my grandson, please refrain from sticking your nose in other people's business in the future! It is rude._

**-o-O-o-**

The next morning Hazel noticed Frank seemed to be in a brighter mood despite yesterday's findings. "What's up?" she asked him. "You haven't been this happy since we defeated Gaea six years ago."

"We're going skiing today," he announced. "Isn't that fun?"

Hazel knew there was something he wasn't telling her by his huge grin, but let it remain a secret and didn't ask any more questions.

Her thoughts were simply confirmed when Frank drove into the parking lot of a different skiing/snowboarding company. She was horrified to find it was one of those parks where helicopters replaced the ski lifts.

"Frank?" she hissed, pulling him by the arm. "You crazy? I've only started learning five days ago! I'll be killed! And they won't let you buy the tickets if you're inexperienced. You need a card or something, I dunno. I've never been skiing before."

"Well, _I've_ been snowboarding for a long time now, so I am able to go up," he replied. "I've done this mountain tons of times. It's fun, you'll be fine."

They treaded over to the helicopter lifts. Frank showed the copter operator his pass, and told him that Hazel was with him. The two of them must have been friends (or at least known each other for a while) because he didn't ask questions or demand to see _her_ pass.

Hazel's sinking feeling grew larger and larger the higher and higher they flew. "I am going to die," she announced, looking down at the snowy mountain. The hill just didn't seem to end. "I died once and I am going to die again."

Frank wrapped an arm around her. "Just wait," he said. Hazel noticed how he hadn't said anything to prove that she wasn't about to get herself killed.

They reached the top of the mountain. "Where's the landing pad?" Hazel asked, looking at the ground below.

The pilot turned to face Frank. "First time?" he asked.

He nodded. "Hazel, there isn't one. You jump."

"Jump?!"

Frank did the latch on his snowboard and nodded to her. He pulled his ski mask over his face and jumped. The pilot looked at her expectantly, and Hazel sighed. She jumped after him.

The landing was rockier than she'd hoped, and she barely managed to remain upright. Fortunately the jump couldn't have been more than fifteen feet, and while fighting for the world's existence six years ago she'd fallen from heights greater than thirty. She followed Frank down the hill in slow horizontal turns like he'd taught her, occasionally stopping to slow down. This proved to be harder than she'd expected, as the mountain was a sixty-degree drop at the best. She had resorted to her demigod power over metals more than once. Soon they reached a flatter area where Hazel could stop without worrying about twisting her ankles.

"Oh gods, Zhang, I hate you," she panted. "I really, really do."

She could imagine him grinning underneath his black ski mask. He slipped out of his snowboard and stood on it normally, slowly easing his way down onto the snow so that he wouldn't fall into it.

Hesitant, Hazel did the same.

Suddenly her boyfriend was no longer human—he was a beautiful coiling ten-foot long blue dragon with two lizard-like wings and six legs, each bearing razor-sharp claws. Icicle-like spikes decorated his back in two straight lines down to his tail, which swished at the snow almost playfully. He was amazing.

"Frank…" Hazel muttered, astonished.

He breathed in and blew gently at the snow in front of her, it instantly solidified into ice. She carefully treaded over top of it, and cautiously patted Frank's snout.

"Wow," she breathed.

Frank fell forward to his stomach, allowing her to climb onto his back. She seated herself in between the two rows of spikes and grabbed onto two of them as a safety-reassurance. He flapped his wings once, then twice, and they took off into the air.

Slowly they rose, first a few meters off the ground. Then ten. Then fifty. Then the peak of the mountaintop of just a speck in the distance.

"Oh my gods!" she shouted happily as they flew into the cold British Colombian clouds. "I'm riding the back of my boyfriend the flying Chinese dragon over the snowy mountains of western Canada! Frank, this is amazing!"

They cleared the clouds, and the view nearly took her breath away. Hundreds of meters below them was a chain of endless snow-covered mountains, completely untouched by the urbanisation of civilization. A small river snaked in between the valleys, and off to the far left the Pacific Ocean gleamed brilliantly.

"Frank," she said, tears welling in her eyes both because of the wind and her joy. "This is breathtaking. I would hug you, but I'm scared that I'd fall off and die."

Frank dove down towards a valley, flying so close to the side of a mountain Hazel could have spat at it. The snow lessened the lower they went, and soon it was all trees. Hundred-meter tall trees with trunks she couldn't wrap her arms around. Caves and wilderness and she even saw a family of bears watching them curiously, as if they were wondering if they were in the wrong time period as well as mythology. The river gleamed underneath them, and it was so clear and clean she was tempted to jump off and dive right in. (But obviously that would be a stupid thing to do as it was the middle of winter and it was freaking -20 degrees out. Celsius.)

The dragon soared upwards again, and Hazel reached out and actually grabbed the snow off the peak of a mountain, letting it go gently as they flew.

They landed back on the mountain where they had started, and Frank turned back into a twenty-one-year-old man.

Hazel wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Frank, that was amazing," she said. "And no one ever taught you," she added. He could tell she was more than impressed.

"Nope," he said, hugging her back. "I taught myself how to fly." Hazel smiled at the joke.

Pause.

"But we still have to get down this mountain, you know."

Hazel pulled away and glanced at her skis. _"Vae,"_ she swore in Latin.

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**Review! **


	8. Eat a 2-Week Old Un-Refridgerated Pie

**This chapter has a funny background. While I was planning all the oneshots out, I was stuck on this one. I wanted to use Leo, but then realized I didn't have Annabeth starring in any chapters yet. So that's basically how this was made.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoO**

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**_Starring Annabeth Chase  
_****_Guest Star of Mrs. Chase_****_  
_**

Annabeth was hungry. She lay curled up on her bed, holding her stomach and moaning in her head. Her stepmother had invited over some friends to chat while her father was out, and Annabeth was too intimidated to go downstairs and grab something to eat.

But finally hunger got the best of her and she walked down the staircase, being as slow and as quiet as she could to not bring any attention to herself. She slipped into the kitchen, passing by the living room quickly.

"And gas prices keep rising, so now I have to work overtime at the café to _get_ to the café…"

Annabeth didn't care about gas prices; she cared about food. She rummaged the kitchen, looking for something to eat. But tomorrow was grocery day, so there was hardly anything edile left.

Except…

Except that juicy, homemade, delicious looking blueberry pie sitting on the kitchen counter ever so innocently. Annabeth refrained from licking her lips very so cliché-like and went over to it, slipping off the wrapper. She grabbed a plate and a kitchen knife and cut out a nice large slice for her. Then she ate it.

There was something wrong with the pie, but Annabeth couldn't place what it was. Maybe one of her step-mom's friends had brought it, and they baked their pies with different ingredients. That was probably it. Anyway, Annabeth was too hungry to care. She kept eating.

The moms were talking about organic food prices when Annabeth threw up.

Mrs. Chase raced into the kitchen to see her stepdaughter knelt on the floor, a broken plate of blueberry pie shattered beside her.

"Oh, God," muttered one of her friends, arriving behind her. "I must have brought the wrong pie. You know, the bad one I had mentioned earlier."

_Would've been nice if you mentioned it to _ME, Annabeth thought.

Mrs. Chase helped her to her feet. "How many spoonfuls did you eat?" she asked cautiously. And since Annabeth was feeling too icky and gross to speak she held up five fingers.

"Oh, dear," she muttered. "Do you _really_ feel sick?" she asked seriously. "Do you want to go to the doctor's?"

Annabeth shook her head. "Fine…" she muttered before throwing up again, all over her stepmother's shoes.

They had her keep doing this until she felt better. Then she was fed water to get rid of the putrid taste of stomach from her mouth, and sent to bed for the rest of the day.

And she was still hungry.

**-o-O-o-**

"Kids," one of Mrs. Chase's friends said as they returned to the living room once the crisis was averted.

"Tell me about it," replied Mrs. Chase, thinking about Annabeth's _real_ mother.

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	9. Let a Psycho Killer Inside

**Disclaimer: I don't own HoO**

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_**Starring Percy Jackson and Leo Valdez**_

"There," Percy said, stepping back to admire his work. "Would you do the honours?" he asked Leo.

"I would be honoured to perform the honours," he decided, stepping forward and opening the gate.

"Dun dun dun!" Percy chanted. "C'mon, Leo, let's go." The two boys raced inside.

"We did a good job," Leo decided, looking around proudly. Then he yawned. "I think I'm going to catch a couple Z's for now. You mind?"

"Nah," said Percy. "I'm gonna walk around for a bit. See you in a while."

Leo walked inside his house and collapsed on the bed. Deciding he couldn't fall asleep, he began to work on his latest invention.

…But he forgot to close the door.

Night fell, and he had been so wrapped up in his work that he didn't notice the figure until it was too late.

"Holy—!" he shouted, trying to run. "Percy, dude, help me!"

Percy heard him and ran toward the house. He drew his sword and prepared to fight, but Leo was already dead, lying motionlessly on the floor.

"Leo, bro?" he asked cautiously. "You dead?"

A rush of static entered his earpiece as Leo sighed. "Yeah," he admitted. "That creeper totally caught me unawares, I swear."

Percy hacked his sword through the Minecraft monster a few times until it was dead. "Just respawn, dude," he told him. "Not so hard."

"Yeah, but that takes the fun out of it," Leo complained, staring at his _YOU'RE DEAD! _screen in thought. "You die, you deserve to die. Anyway, I'm just gonna join someone else's world. You coming?"

"…Fine," Percy decided uncomplainingly. "Wait for me."

Leo pushed the headpiece around his neck so that it wouldn't pick up what he said anymore. "I am losing my touch," he muttered to himself as he scrolled through the list of worlds on the menu page. "Letting a psycho killer inside. What am I thinking?"

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**You can tell they were playing Minecraft at the beginning, apologizes.**

**REVIEW!**


	10. Scratch Your Drug Dealers Brand New Ride

**I will be getting lots of hate after this chapter. I apologize, I had horrible writer's block.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the PJO books, or... *sigh*... movie.**

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_**Starring Nico di Angelo**_  
_**Guest Star of Bianca di Angelo**_

Nico wandered down the arcade of the Lotus Casino, searching for a game he had not yet played and was available for use.

He wasn't sure how long he and Bianca were going to stay there. It had been around four weeks, give or take a few days. And the people here were all different. Like the other day, he met some thirteen-year-old named Darrin who said everything was 'groovy'. Nico had no idea what that meant.

Oh, look, someone just got off their game. Nico walked over to it and began to play a new round.

A few minutes later a man walked up to him. He was dressed in a casual suit and completely unaffected by all the awesome things around him. "Mr. di Angelo?" he asked.

"Yes," he replied. "Who are you?"

"My name is none of your business," he replied. "I'm here for you and your sister. Where is she?"

"I'm not telling you," Nico replied. "I don't even know who you are."

The man remained unaffected. "Let's just say I'm an acquaintance of your father."

His father… Nico thought he should know who he was. It was on the tip of his tongue, but at the moment he had been roleplaying a wizard in some game called Harry Potter and had the highscore for Quidditch.

"Okay," he replied. "Bianca is in our room. She left about an hour ago to get some sleep." He saved his game under the name 'Nico dA' and led the man out of the arcade, out of the gaming room, through the casino D and waterpark G to reach the elevators that would take them to the rooms.

**-o-O-o-**

"You are no longer staying here."

"What?" Bianca demanded. "Why should we do whatever you tell us? We don't even know you. I don't trust you, and frankly, we like it here."

"But your father has given me orders to pick you up. If we do not leave immediately we may miss the time period…"

"What?"

"Never mind," said the man. "Just pack your things. We're leaving."

"No," said Bianca, remaining defiant.

The man studied her for a moment, and when he realized she wasn't going to budge he took her to the room next door to talk to her in private. Nico stared at the closed door for a minute, then took a look outside. He and Bianca had been at this hotel for several weeks, maybe even a month now, and during that time he hadn't stepped outside once. Maybe it _was_ time to go.

After another minute the door opened and Bianca returned. "Nico," she said, "I don't want to go, but if you do then I'm fine with it. Your call."

Nico glanced out the window again, back at his sister, then back outside. It was such a beautiful day. He nodded once.

"We'll go," he said. "Kinda tired of this old hotel anyway."

She grinned. "Even the artificial ski slope?" she asked. Nico shrugged.

"Maybe," he said. "But hey! What city are we in? We don't even know? We should go see the sights for a day or something."

The man came out again. "So what's happening?" he asked.

Bianca nodded. "We're going with you," she told him.

He smiled. "Pack your things," he said.

**-o-O-o-**

As they were leaving an employee stopped them. "Are you sure you wish to leave so soon?" he asked. "We've just added seven new roller-coasters to amusement park E, only accessible by ultra-members such as yourselves."

Bianca shook her head. "We're okay," she replied. They were about to head back, when the man ushering them stepped forward to speak to the employee.

"Thank you so much for taking care of the children for these past… times," he said. Nico noticed how he regarded the other as if they had a history together.

"All the pleasure," replied the employee just as bitterly. "Tell the god I send him regards."

_God?_ Nico wondered.

"Oh, I'll do you a favour by not," replied the man.

While the two men bickered in a polite manner, a waitress came around with a tray of biscuits. "Would you two like one?" she asked Bianca and Nico. Nico knew the hotel treats were the best as well as that he would never have another chance to try them, so they both accepted one.

The man escorting them away noticed them and yelled out, "No!" But they had already taken a bite.

Bianca blinked several times. "This is a really good cookie," she said.

"Children, we have to leave right away," said the man, grabbing Nico by the arm. Bianca cut him off.

"First of all, don't talk to us like that," she said. "And second, we're not leaving."

"Have you seen how awesome this place is?" Nico asked. "I hear they've added six new roller-coasters to park E."

"Seven," the employee corrected smugly. He grabbed a cookie for a passing-by waitress's tray and offered it to the di Angelos' usher. "Here. Have a treat."

The man took it but instead of eating it he threw it on the ground and stomped his foot on it. "Kids, we're leaving. _Now."_

"You're not the boss of us, you can't tell us what to do," Nico shot back.

The man glanced around quickly. Nico wondered what he was looking for. All there was around them were several drunken partiers and a car they were holding a contest for. (Some idiot and his friends the other day had ridden off in the first car. He had assumed it was for entertainment and they were going to return it, but they never came back.)

The whole thing took less than five seconds. The man pulled out something long and sharp—what?—and made a long slash mark through the side of the car. The employee swore in some ancient language, and Bianca and Nico were grabbed by the arms and hauled toward the door.

Three minutes later they were on the highway.

"Who are you!?" Bianca was shrieking. "Kidnapper! KIDNAPPER!"

A moment passed in silence. "Why?" the man asked cooly. "Everything is fine."

Suddenly a wave of calm overcame Nico. "What just happened?" he asked.

Bianca blinked several times. "I'm not sure… but I believe we were just escorted from our hotel by this nice man."

Nico wasn't sure, but he thought he heard the driver mutter, "Ah, good old Mist."

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**Yes, my writer's block was so bad I had to resort to the movie.**

**You can flame. I deserve it.**


	11. Take Your Helmet Off in Outer Space

**Yes, no one was happy with the last chapter. I wasn't either.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this.**

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**_Starring Annabeth Chase  
Guest Star of Percy Jackson_**

_"Beautiful, don't you think?"_

Annabeth snuggled against her boyfriend a bit more, tired. She yawned. "What is this?" she asked him.

"The most intense movie trailer I have ever seen," Percy replied. She cocked her head, thinking about it.

"But it looks so peaceful," she noticed. At that moment, some character said, _"The sunrise."_ Then there was a picture of the earth and of two astronauts in space, staring at a beautiful sunrise.

Annabeth smiled.

Percy shook his head sadly at her innocence.

_At 375 miles above the earth…_

…_the view is… breathtaking._

The music was so calm. Annabeth sighed deeply and closed her eyes, relaxing.

The explosion was so sudden she was jolted awake. She cried out, terrified. Percy held her tighter.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"The shuttle is destroyed by some unseen force," he tried to explain. "Probably Darth Vader and his minions."

Annabeth breathed deeply for a few seconds. "That _scared_ me," she intoned.

"I know."

She turned her attention back to the screen.

_"We've been hit!"_

_"What do we do?!"_

_DON'T. _

Annabeth winced.

_LET._

She buried her face in Percy's arm.

_GO._

The music made it so terrifying. Annabeth felt for that poor girl stranded in space. Percy was right. The trailer so _intense._

Explosions. Annabeth bit her lip and forced herself to look at the screen. Everything was falling apart and plummeting rapidly to earth. That poor astronaut desperately trying to grab on to something…

_GRAVITY_.

_"Anybody… please copy…"_

The trailer ended.

"Well, what did you think?" Percy asked.

"That was _terrifying,"_ said Annabeth. "I could actually see myself in space… all alone… scared… gods, I'm never becoming an astronaut."

He smiled, hugging her closer. "Any other comments?" he asked.

"Yeah, actually," she replied, sitting up a bit straighter. "What's the plot? The girl's lost in space—so what? Wait!" She snapped her fingers. "Maybe this is one of those flashback movies. You know, where the entire film is just a series of flashbacks before the main character dies." She thought a little more. "Perhaps she runs out of oxygen, or her helmet comes off."

Percy shrugged. "Or maybe it's just them trying to survive in space. I dunno. This hsn't come out yet." He grabbed the remote and turned to something else. "Don't want to see it, actually." He went back to the film he had been watching before.

Annabeth groaned, stuffing her face in a nearby pillow. "Seriously, Percy?" she asked. "Sharknado?"

"Yeah," he replied. "You'll learn to like it."

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**I had writer's block for this one as well. But I like the next chapter, and I think you will too.**

**Review!**


	12. Use a Clothes Dryer as a Hiding Place

**Anyway, here's a chapter I think you'll enjoy 'cause it's long(er). Enjoy!**

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_**Starring Piper McLean**_

Piper only stuck around for five minutes.

Her father had thrown a huge celebrity party at their house, and hadn't invited any kids. And he had somehow forgotten his daughter's request to invite people she idolized, like Hannah Montana. All there were were forty-year-old TV stars of adult dramas with plots that no one knew of including the director and spontaneous kissing in every episode.

Technically she had been allowed to mingle with everyone else because the only alcoholic beverages being served was closely monitored wine, but Piper didn't want to do that. But she also didn't want to be rude to her father. She politely greeted people who asked for her name in a cutesy-cutesy-baby voice and tried not to get upset when they asked her if she wanted candy. She wasn't two-freaking-years-old. But then again, all kids must look the same age to them. As you get older, age doesn't matter because _everyone_ looks the same due to the surprising amount of cosmetics they use.

At one point a man approached her and asked if she knew who he was. Piper had no clue, but replied politely, "No, sir, but I'm sure that whatever you do you do wonderfully."

The man beamed and gave her a lollipop he conceived from nowhere.

There was also that lady who carried the same amount of pride as an evil stepmother. She sat down on the couch beside her, sitting completely rigid, while Piper played with her doll self-consciously. "How old are you, child?" the lady asked suddenly.

"Nine," Piper replied.

"Ugh," the lady said in disgust. Piper turned.

"Why 'ugh'?" she asked, her kaleidoscope eyes glinting reproachfully.

The woman didn't reply for a moment. "When I was your age, I attended parties like this as a guest, not as the daughter of the host. I sat up straight, was polite to my elders, and did _not_ play with dolls."

"Well, maybe I _do_ sit up straight, am polite to my elders, and attend parties as a guest, but you just judged me too quickly because I still play with Sally," Piper mouthed back.

The lady glanced at her and didn't speak for a moment. "You are a pretty girl," she admitted, thinking. "Perhaps with a bit of teaching we could find you some manners…"

"Judger!" Piper yelled. "You judge!" Then she jumped off the couch to find her father.

He was chatting with some friends near the fireplace. "Daddy!" she shouted, pulling on his shirt. "There was some lady and she was mean to me! She judged me because of Sally!" She held up her doll for Tristan to see.

"That's nice, sweetie," he said, turning back to his guests. "So anyway, as I was saying…"

Piper pouted and walked away. The music playing was old-people themed and she didn't recognize any singer. Meaning no Selena Gomez. Sighing, she climbed down the stairs to the basement so that she could have some peace and quiet.

She played with Sally for a while, pretending that she was a normal girl who didn't have to deal with all this nonsense, until she heard footsteps approaching. Scowling, she stood her ground, but then she heard it was a man and a woman that they seemed to be arguing about something serious. Piper did _not_ want to be caught in the middle of that, so she searched for somewhere to hide. There was only the clothes dryer. Frowning, she opened the circular door and crawled inside, closing it behind her. The space was cramped, but she was small enough to fit.

The woman and the man's argument took new levels when they began to swear at each other. Piper plugged her ears with her fingers and ran the most obnoxious and repeating song she knew through her head to block out the noise. She prayed they'd finish soon and go back upstairs so that she could finish playing.

But they didn't. They stayed and yelled and swore and cussed at each other. This went on for nearly ten minutes. After a while the woman demanded something from the man and he went quiet, whispering something. Piper couldn't hear what it was, but by the sounds coming afterwards she concluded they were kissing. Just like those TV dramas she had mentioned earlier. The kiss lasted like, five minutes, and Piper was so desperate she even turned to Barney songs to play in her head.

Then the couple finally went upstairs, when their friends met them on the staircase and they began to chat about stuff. Piper wanted to scream. Her legs were growing stiff and Sally's face was squished against the dryer wall so bad her perfect ski-slope nose would most definitely not be so perfect and ski-slope-y anymore.

But the adults kept talking and talking… and Piper couldn't escape it now. If she just suddenly popped out of the clothes dryer, the fight-then-spontaneously-kiss couple would know she had been (unintentionally) spying on their argument and be super embarrassed, and then Piper would feel guilty. And that was if she didn't create heart attacks on the spot.

So she put up with it and stayed. Eventually people came and went, and soon the party traveled to the basement. She heard adults talking and laughing and occasionally shouting. Soon the sounds of music and chatter and all those normal things blended together and she began to doze off…

**-o-O-o-**

Piper woke to screaming.

She forgot where she was and tried to get up, only resulting in bumping her head in the small space. A maid was staring at her, a basket of wet clothes lying on its side at her feet. She'd obviously dropped it when she saw Piper sleeping there.

The maid helped her out. Piper stretched her arms and legs as the girl ranted to her. "What were you doing in there? Why on earth did you go in there? _How_ did you get in there? Did someone force you there?"

So Piper had to tell the story, and the maid was not pleased. So then she called down Piper's father and she had to retell the story, head bowed down in shame. She was grounded and sent to her room for the rest of the day.

"Using the clothes dryer as a hiding place," the maid muttered to Tristan as Piper walked away. "Kids, right?"

* * *

**Them kids. *shakes head in disgust* Wait a minute. I'm a kid...**

**Review! And I don't own HoO, remember! If I did, I wouldn't be so troll and hand out free copies of the House of Hades sooner!**


	13. Keep a Rattlesnake as a Pet

**I swear, writer's block just won't stop! Anyway, here it is. You guys are allowed to hate me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this.**

* * *

**_Starring Nico di Angelo  
OC of Rob_**

Nico walked down the streets of Elysium on one of his rare visits to the Underworld. The dead glanced at him as he walked by—it wasn't often that they got the living in the dead realm. But none protested or really cared.

He slipped into a fast food restaurant and ordered a coke. The dead didn't really have to eat, but they liked to keep up with the normal living customs. It made them feel alive again.

The coke, on the other hand, was a million times better than the soda up in the real world. Nico had no idea how they did it, but if he ever died he'd come to this place just for the quality of the food. And the burgers actually looked like what they made them appear to be in the commercials.

"Living, huh," said the guy behind the counter. "Not every day you get one of those over here. In fact, we never do. What're you doing here?"

Nico shrugged. "Visiting," he answered honestly as he sipped from his beverage. Gods, this was good.

The man squinted at him. "You're that Nico kid, aren't you?" he said. "The one who helped God win both wars down on earth? You're pretty famous up here. And you're, what? Sixteen? Seventeen?"

Nico nodded.

"You know," continued the man, "you're pretty lucky to have come out of those battles. I died because of a rattlesnake."

"Really?" Nico asked, intrigued.

"Yeah," he said, suddenly distant. "It all started on the day I went to the pet store to buy a hamster for my wife's birthday. There was this mysterious looking man hanging around by the entrance and he told me he had a great price for a snake he was selling. 70% off. How could I refuse? I'm Rob, by the way."

Nico nodded politely, still sipping from his soda. The only downside with the ghosts in Elysium was that they loved to talk about how they died. But of course, being in Elysium, they had some pretty wicked stories to tell. Nico once met this teenage girl who had been on the plane that crashed in the Pennsylvania fields during 9/11. She had helped beat up one of the terrorists. Then she died when the plane crashed.

"Anyway," Rob continued, "what the man didn't tell me was that the snake he was trying to sell me was a _rattlesnake. _Crazy, huh. Continuing, I brought the pet home and my wife was horrified, and demanded that I returned it. I tried to, but the man was gone. Eventually I grew fond of the snake, and even named him. I forgot what, but it was something fuzzy and cute, I remember."

"You wouldn't usually give a rattlesnake a cute and fuzzy name, but continue anyway," Nico just had to comment. He finished his coke and refilled it.

"But whatever. I take the rattlesnake home, and my wife orders me to kill it. I'm about to, but it escapes. Not sure how, but it somehow slithered out of the box all sneaky-like. My wife freaked out, alerted the police, and called a whole squad of exterminators to catch and kill a loose rattlesnake in the neighbourhood. It took people two days to find it, and it turns out if had been camping out under my bed the entire time."

"Nice," Nico commented.

Rob grabbed a soda cup for himself and filled his with Pepsi, drinking from it. "Well, my wife is making the bed when it comes after her. She screams and I run in all hero-like. I had been researching the kind of snake ever since it got lost, and I knew what to do. I kept its attention for the time that my wife managed to alert the exterminators and zookeepers.

"But our house has an alarm, you see? And the alarm goes off whenever the front or back doors open. So the snake goes in attack mode and tries to bite my wife. But I leap in the way and it bites me instead, right in the chest. I die on the way to the hospital, and then they kill Fuzzy." He snapped his fingers. "Fuzzy! That's what I named it!"

"So you got into Elysium because you gave up your life for you wife's?" Nico summarized.

Rob gave him a quizzical look. "Elysium?" he asked. "Nah, bro. Heaven."

Nico nodded, remembering that everyone saw the Underworld differently.

He finished his second coke, setting it on the counter. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Rob," he said.

"The pleasure was all mine," he said with a small wave. "And come back again soon, Nico. I've got other stories to tell."

Nico nodded and exited the fast food restaurant. "Keeping a rattlesnake as a pet," he said, shaking his head. "People these days."

* * *

**So, yeah, I made up a character. I guess he's okay.**

**Review. Please. Even if it's a flame (though I hope it isn't!).**


	14. Sell Both Your Kidneys on the Internet

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.**

* * *

**_Starring Leo Valdez and Piper McLean_**

_"NO!"_ Leo howled. "C'mon, seriously! This is stupid!"

Piper, who happened to be wandering past the cabin, poked her head in. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

Leo sighed and turned to face her. "No," he replied. He showed her his computer screen. "McAwesome just got bitten by a zombie and has less than 50% health. I have no choice but to kill him."

Piper stared at him. "Seriously?" she asked.

"I'm dead serious. This is horrible! He was my right-hand man."

She stared at him a while longer, then slowly eased her way beside him. "What game is this?" she asked.

"Organ Trail," Leo replied, and pressed the refresh button, bringing him back to the beginning of the game. He handed the laptop over to Piper so that she could read what scrolled on the screen.

"Organ Trail," she read aloud. "You may: one, travel the road; two, learn more about the road; three, see the survivor top ten; four, resume saved game."

"Just press one," Leo told her. She did.

"Many kinds of people find themselves on the road," she continued. "One, be a cop from Kentucky. Two, be a clerk from New Jersey. Three, be a lawyer from Miami."

"So this is basically levels," said Leo. "Cop is easy, clerk is medium, and lawyer is hard. I play as a lawyer."

Piper played as a cop.

"What is the name of your wagon leader?" she read. "Piper, obviously." She typed this in.

"Now you need four more names," said Leo.

She thought about it, and then decided, "I'll choose… Percy, Annabeth, Hazel and Jason."

"I feel left out," Leo commented, crossing his arms and pouting. Piper rolled her eyes and replaced Percy with Leo.

The game started.

_The end of the world… _and a crudely drawn zombie apocalypse.

"You are in the ruins of Washington DC," Piper read. "You must decide when you shall flee the city."

"Go for the middle of the day," Leo told her. "Zombies aren't as much out during the day as at night."

She heeded his advice, and her station wagon reached Pittsburgh without anyone dying.

"This music is depressing," she decided, and turned off the volume. She came to a screen that listed her options.

"Continue on road, buy, trade, kill member of group…" she read. "Hey, Leo, would you like to die?"

"No," he replied pointedly. "I'm 100% health and unbitten. Why should you?"

"For one thing, you're annoying."

"Am not."

"You only believe that because no one has the heart to tell you. Wait…" She paused. "We do. You just don't listen."

They continued on the road, except a horde of zombies blocked their path.

"Uh oh," said Piper. "What do I do?"

"Hmm," thought Leo. "They're small. I bet you could fight 'em off."

"But I've never fought zombies before!" Piper cried.

"The programing does the fighting," Leo explained. "Just click option two."

She did this and the team came out unscathed.

"Good," said Leo. "Now continue to the next town."

She did, and all was well, until Hazel got bitten by a zombie.

"Should I put her down?" Piper mused as if it were an interesting concept, hovering her finger over the number six on Leo's laptop.

"Nah," said Leo. "She's only bitten, not an actual zombie. She'll be fine as long as she doesn't get low on health."

"But I'm out of food. And everyone has less than 50% health."

"Then you are a horrible cop."

Piper innocently pressed the six button and then pressed one. "Oh, look," she said. "Jason just shot you in the head." She exited the game by clicking on the home page icon. "Speaking of zombies, I wanna show you a website I found the other day," she told him, scrolling into the Google search bar and typing in MAP OF THE DEAD.

"What is this?" Leo asked once they were on the page.

"It's a zombie apocalypse map," she replied. She pointed at the screen. "The red areas are where zombies will most likely be."

"Well, it looks like New York is screwed," said Leo, gesturing the huge crimson area. "But Canada isn't too bad. I say we get Frank to take us there if this ever happens."

"Plus, this is much more helpful than that stupid game of yours, because it tells you where you can find shelter, food, water, and gas," said Piper smugly. "All you do in Organ Trail is shoot zombies with horrible graphics."

Leo narrowed his eyes mischievously. "That sounds like a challenge to me," he said.

"Oh, I had all the intention to make it sound like one."

"Okay, then," he said, taking back his laptop. (Technically demigods weren't supposed to use technology, but let's get serious for a moment—_no _teenager can withdraw from the Internet for more than three days. It's a scientifically proven fact.) "How's _this?"_

"Don't shoot the puppy?" Piper asked with raised eyebrows. "Leo, you're not even trying."

"Fine," he said. "Get to level twenty and you win the challenge."

Piper scrolled the icon onto START, and a puppy appeared on the screen, walking off to the left. "That's it?" she asked. "I just don't click on anything and the gun doesn't fire? This is easy—"

She scrolled the mouse to the right and the gun fired, killing the puppy.

"Well, that isn't fair, I didn't know any move shoots the bullet," she said.

"Well, you do now," Leo replied. "Pretty cool, huh."

Piper frowned, but a mischievous smile crept up her face. "I'll show you who's pretty cool," she said. She grabbed the laptop and turned it away from Leo so that he couldn't see what she was doing onscreen. After a minute or so, she turned back. "Type my name into Google search," she instructed.

He did.

Did You Mean _The Coolest Person Ever?_

"What?" Leo asked. "That can't be possible." He typed in his own name.

Did You Mean_ Totally Not as Awesome as Piper?_

Piper started laughing at Leo's confusion. "It's a site that does this," she told him. "I type in my name then the fake search I want to show up, then do the same thing for your name. Don't worry, it can only be seen on your computer."

"You know, I could just hack into Google myself and do that manually."

She shrugged. "Not everyone has the capacity to be as subtle as me, Leo." She flipped her hair over her shoulder in a fashion she had seen Drew do, exaggerating the flourish on purpose. "I'm just awesome like that."

"Sure," Leo admitted. "But not as awesome as this." He began to type.

"Most awesome thing ever," Piper read. "Seriously, Leo?"

"Deadly," he said. Two things appeared on the screen.

THING ONE:

Smiley face

THING TWO:

Glee

"Obviously the smiley face," Piper said, clicking on the option. Leo feigned a gasp.

_"What!?"_ he shrieked really high-pitched like Octavian, and Piper stifled a laugh. "You are not a Gleek?" He held out his hand at her. "You have been officially shunned."

Piper rolled her eyes and scrolled down the screen to the list of ten most awesome things ever. "Valdez," she laughed. "I would have you know that the Internet is currently beating Life as the most awesome thing ever."

He snorted. "Because obviously if there was no Internet I wouldn't be able to read my daily news," he said.

Piper raised an eyebrow. "Why not use the newspaper?" she asked. Leo turned to her, mildly confused.

"What's that?" he asked seriously.

She shrugged. "I dunno. My dad made a reference to it once or twice a few years ago. Ooh! I have it!" She clicked on a new tab and typed in 'Sharknado'.

"What the heck is a sharknado?" Leo asked as the search loaded. "Is it like a shark and a tornado mixed into one?"

"That's exactly what it is," Piper told him, grinning.

"Stop it, Pipes, that isn't poss—oh my freaking gods, they made a movie about it!"

"If you saw the trailer you still wouldn't understand," Piper told him, clicking on the YouTube link. "I mean, that's totally fake!" she started after halfway through the video. "Who on earth would think up such a horrible idea—?"

"Gods I want to see this movie so bad," Leo interrupted.

"Just think about how cheesy the acting is and stupid the plot," she said. "Don't even get me started on costumes, music, and props." She stopped, horrified. "Oh my gods where will they get the sharks? They're going to die!"

The trailer ended. "Well, Piper, I think this is our last round," said Leo.

"Why?" she asked.

"I need to see this movie. And also because I want to go to bed."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. Now find something so that I can win."

He raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Don't you mean _I_ win?"

"That's what I said. I. As in 'I, Piper, am totally winning.'"

Leo just typed in a few words into YouTube and handed her the laptop. "First link," he instructed, and she clicked on it.

A cheesy song began to play.

_"Set fire to your hair…" _And a little blue man running down the road with half his head on fire. Piper gasped, holding her hands to her face.

"What on earth..." she murmured.

_"Poke a stick at a grizzly bear…" _the song continued. _"Eat medicine that's out of date, use your private parts as piranha bait…"_

Leo laughed at Piper's horrified expression. But the best part had yet to come.

_"Dumb ways to die!" _the four dead characters sang. _"So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to di-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die…"_

"Leo Insert-Middle-Name-Here Valdez!" she shouted. "What on earth am I watching?"

"Dumb ways to die," he replied easily.

"I can see that," she replied, closing the lid down on the laptop.

Leo rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "How I see it is that we're at equal crossroads," he said. "There's only one other way to settle this peacefully." He pumped his fist in the air. "EBAY WARS!"

Piper face-palmed. "Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Leo, already on the website. "We both sell one thing that has to be crazy on the crazy stage, and the first one to get a buyer wins."

"Isn't that illegal?" Piper asked.

"Well, yeah, but do you know how many illegal things we did while cruising on the Argo II?" Leo handed her the laptop. "You go first."

Piper sighed and typed in the first thing that came to her head. "Kidneys?" Leo read.

"Two of them," she explained, pointing to the little blurb of information on screen.

Leo thought about it. "I guess it works," he said. "But I'm still winning because _my_ product is real." He took a moment to type it in.

"Pou~Pourri," Piper began to read. "A way to mask bathroom odors anywhere you go." She thought the name was familiar. "Is this the one with the YouTube commercial with the British lady in that blue dress who makes you unsure of whether or not this is a real product?"

"Exactly," he said.

Ding! He had a buyer.

"Looks like I win," he said nonchalantly, rubbing it in.

Piper scoffed. "Maybe at Internet wars, but in the demigod world you'd be dead by now."

"That sounds like a challenge," Leo noticed.

Piper grinned. "I had all the intention for it to be," she replied.

And with that the two demigods raced outside.

* * *

**OH, GODS, I SHIP THESE TWO SO HARD.**

**Anyway, I know this chapter has almost nothing to do with kidneys, but I had TONS of fun writing this. So I don't care!**

**And, yes, all these sites or Google searches or YouTube videos are real. Even Pou~Pourri.**

**Organ Trail  
****Map of the Dead  
****Don't Shoot the Puppy  
****Google Did You Mean  
****Most Awesome Thing Ever  
****Sharknado  
****Dumb Ways to Die****  
**

**-o-O-o-**

**Because you guys hate me for my writer's block, I'm gonna give out a few HoH spoilers. You guys are gonna love this (unless you hate spoilers, period, and thus should skip this).**

**Number one, Rick posted some pictures on his twitter of places the Argo II will go. There are so far four places. I can guarantee two of them, the other two still remain a mystery. So, spoiler alert, the Argo II is going to Bologna (expect some jokes from Leo about this) and Venice! **

**Second thing, I just finished watching a video where Rick reads a part of HoH... And not the first chapter! It's right in the middle of the book, with Annabeth and Percy, and neither is faring well. Find it... IF YOU CAN...**

**-o-O-o-**

**REVIEW!**


	15. Eat a Tube of Super Glue

**That moment you realize the House of Hades comes out in a week.**

***fangirl screaming***

**(I love this chapter. I don't know why. In this story, I either love the chapter or had horrible writer's block with it.)**

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**_Starring Hazel Levesque  
Guest Star of Queen Marie_**

Hazel loved art. That wasn't much of a new thing to learn. Whenever she got home from school she'd start playing around with pencils and scrap pieces of paper and create all sorts of weird kiddie stuff. It was a good way to get her off of Queen Marie's hands.

But then she learned about glue.

Hazel was obsessed with it. She begged her mother day and night to let her buy just one bottle from the shops. But she always replied that they didn't have enough money.

Well, fine, then. She'd just have to get it by her own means.

Hazel placed a ruby on the counter. "I'd like to buy these bottles of glue," she announced, holding up ten of them. The man took the ruby cautiously, and inspected it closely.

"My word," he murmured after a moment. "This is the real deal, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir," replied Hazel. "I will be taking what is mine now." And in arm with ten bottles of glue, she set off for home.

One of the bottles was used right away to create a mess. Hazel quickly learned afterwards that you didn't need to use a lot for it to work, and it actually did its job better when you didn't. She created mini-paper sculptures and collages and other artistic things to give out as presents for her mother.

A few weeks later Hazel was working on the kitchen table with her fancy little bottle of glue while Queen Marie hustled around trying to make dinner at the same time as speaking to an angry customer.

"I'm sorry if your husband tripped and fell down the staircase and broke his arm, but why is this _my_ fault?" she was saying.

"Because _you_ sold him a jewel," the angry wife said. "A cursed jewel!"

"That is crazy," Marie said, reaching out for some spices to sprinkle onto Hazel's meal. She didn't realize she had grabbed the wrong bottle and squirted a clear transparent glue onto the rice. "You people always invent a crazy way to blame _me."_

"But we're not the first, right?" the wife continued. "You sold plenty of other jewels to plenty of other people, and where are they right now? Either dead or in the hospital."

"You know what?" said Marie, slamming down Hazel's meal in front of her daughter angrily. "You can leave me and my daughter alone. If you have a problem with my merchandise, just don't go out and buy it."

The lady glared at her coldly for a moment. "Crazy black people," she muttered before turning and heading for the door.

Queen Marie sighed and turned to Hazel. "What am I going to do?" she asked, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her hand.

Hazel didn't reply. Or couldn't, actually. She began to cough, then cough even harder. "Hazel, what is it?" Marie asked, patting her daughter cautiously on the back. "Are you alright?"

The wife turned and saw what was happening. She sighed and headed back toward them. "She's chocking, you idiot," she muttered, crouching down to Hazel's height. "Sweetie, just keep coughing. And stop pounding her back, Marie, that does absolutely nothing to help."

Hazel gripped the edge of the table hard, her knuckles turning white. The lady handed her a glass of water to drink and to wash away whatever was in her throat. For two seconds this did nothing and in fact only made it worse, but soon the water loosened the glue and it slipped away.

"You okay?" she asked Hazel, and the little girl nodded, rubbing her throat.

"Thank goodness," said Queen Mary, and the other shot her a withering gaze.

Then the wife spotted the open glue lying on the kitchen counter and put two and two together. "You horrible person," she said to Marie, standing and shaking her head in disgust. "You have no idea how to take care of your own daughter. Poisoning her." She turned back to Hazel, who was beginning to regain control of her natural facial colours. "I'm so sorry, sweetie," she said kindly. "You ever need help with something, just come and find me."

She stood, rolled her eyes at Marie, and walked away.

**-o-O-o-**

"That horrible mother," the wife finished as she completed her story around her own family kitchen table.

Her eldest daughter frowned.

"So that nasty woman poisoned her own daughter with glue?" she asked. "Why would she do something as horrible as that?"

"I don't know," replied her mother. "Negroes—I mean… blacks have always been a mystery to me."

"Eat a tube of glue!" chanted her two-year-old son. "Eat a tube of super glue!"

"Yes," she replied, staring longingly out the window, wondering how her husband was doing at that very moment in the hospital. "Eat a tube of super glue."

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**REVIEW! *whispers* please...?**


	16. I Wonder What's This Red Button Do?

**Disclaimer: I do not own this**

**I put a lot of effort in this chapter. You guys better like it.**

* * *

_**Starring Reyna  
Guest Stars of Hylla and Circe**_

It had only been two months since the sisters arrived at Circe's island, and Reyna was still getting herself acquainted with her surroundings. All the girls were super-nice to her, and she could eat all the cookies and sweets she wanted. Hylla had to work and train, however, but that was okay because she didn't have them for long. And it gave Reyna time to play games such as ring-around-the-rosie and stella-ella-oh-la with the other girls her age.

The island was really big, and sometimes the girls would pretend to be princesses discovering a new land and they'd found, wandering down the hallways of the main building and walking along the sandy beach. But then the real princess Circe would come and take them away for their beauty treatments.

Reyna loved Circe. She was so kind and compassionate towards her and everyone else. Even Hylla admitted that they were better here than at home. And every time someone new stumbled across the island, they'd be seen the next day wandering the halls as the newest addition to their little family, or…

Actually, now that Reyna thought of it, the newcomers either stayed or mysteriously vanished. When she asked Hylla about it, she replied that they either went to their homes or to a new life as a new being. She wasn't sure what that meant, but she assumed it was something good. New life, new being… sounds very motivational.

Another thing about the island—every girl younger than or at the age of six years old had her own pet mouse. After arriving, Circe had presented Reyna with a cute little brown-and-white hamster she had named Bunny. He was really cute and lived in a nice cage in her apartment. Bunny would sometimes scratch at the walls as if he wanted to be let out, but Reyna knew he was just a baby and familiarizing himself with his new surroundings. All the rodents of the island were special because they weren't nocturnal, which was nice because Reyna could play with Bunny during the day.

One morning this little girl in particular arose really late, as the night before she and her friends had discovered a secret cove at the far end of the island, and got super excited about it. Hylla and the other older girls had found them passed out on some rocks, fallen with exhaustion.

She checked the clock and was alarmed to find the time. "Oh no!" she cried dramatically, kicking off the covers until they landed on the floor. Her bare feet pitter-pattered on the cold ground as she ran over to the washroom. She grabbed her toothbrush and scrubbed her front two teeth for five seconds, then tied back her glossy black hair with an elastic as she tried to rinse her mouth. The result was not pretty.

She raced over to the closet and pulled out some shorts, pulling them on underneath her pink Hello Kitty pyjama dress. She pulled the dress over her head and replaced it with a clean Disney Princess shirt. Her feet slipped into her sandals next to the door and she ran outside, headed for the secret cove to meet up with her friends.

She met one of her friend's older cousins in the hallways. "Hey, Reyna," she greeted her with a warm smile. "Where you going?"

"Secret classified information!" she shouted without slowing down, her words slightly muffled with the hair band held in between her teeth. (She was organizing her tresses into a relatively neater ponytail.)

"Well, did you have breakfast?" the girl called out after her.

Reyna shuffled into a U-turn. "Secret classified information!" she shouted again, headed back to her room.

Breakfast was usually left in a small compartment next to each apartment. (Ha ha. That rhymed.) Reyna hustled inside, placing her right index finger on the scanner to be admitted entrance, and went right up to the dumbwaiter without closing the door. Two trays were left in there—one stocked high with delicious and nutritious breakfast meals, and one empty except for crumbs. Hylla had obviously already eaten. Reyna grabbed her tray with both hands and carried it over to her unmade bed. Bunny was scratching at the cage again, making a huge racket.

"Not now, Bunny," Reyna scolded him in her cute little-kid voice. "I'm late." She opened a container to find juicy and perfectly cut apple slices waiting to be eaten. She picked out a piece and munched on it, staring at her hamster.

Then she realized something.

"Oh no!" she yelled, leaping off of the bed quickly. "I didn't feed you last night!" She ran over to Bunny's large bag of hamster food and quickly grabbed a handful. She opened the cage door to place it inside, but in two quick seconds Bunny had made a heroic leap for freedom and scampered outside. Reyna gasped and fell backwards in surprise. She could only watch in horror as her beloved pet raced out the apartment door she had left open in her haste, out into the hallway.

"Bunny!" she cried. Quickly she got to her feet and followed him out the door. He was already halfway down the corridor. "Come back!"

But the hamster didn't come back, and instead he turned into a door at the end of the hallway. She raced after him, entering the room without thinking of punishment consequences. There were rows and rows of fancy-looking tech stuff with complicated looking wires and buttons and controls. One wall was entirely devoted to screens, showing live feed of different places around the island. One displayed the spa, another the beach, another the lounge.

But Reyna didn't care for any of that. She wandered down to the end of the controls searching for her lost hamster. But he was nowhere to be found. She sighed miserably.

"Looking for something?"

Reyna spun to find Circe standing there, holding Bunny with two hands. He remained motionless in her grip, and the only sign that he was alive were his terrified eyes that darted back and forth.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" she cried brightly, taking him. "Thank you, kind Circe! I was so worried. Don't ever run away again, Bunny!"

"I gave him a small lesson so that he doesn't," the witch told the small girl. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all!" Reyna decided. She rose her pet to eye-level to get a better view of him. Bunny seemed a little more distant, but that was fine. He was alive, after all. "I'm so sorry for the trouble, Circe."

She smiled. "No worries. It was my pleasure."

Reyna glanced around at all the equipment. "What is all this?" she asked.

"Security," she replied. "To make sure I know where to head whenever a hamster escapes."

Reyna giggled delightedly. "This is so cool! What does that big red button do?" she asked, pointing with one hand at the last control on the keypad.

The witch shrugged, grinning. "Care to find out?" she asked slyly.

Reyna nodded happily, and Circe took Bunny off of her hands. She then skipped over to the button and pressed down on it. It was harder than it looked, and it took both hands. Soon afterwards she heard a click.

"What now?" she asked.

Circe grinned and pointed up at the TVs wired on the wall with one perfectly manicured finger. There, on one of the screens, could two missiles be seen headed straight for the water.

"Where are they going?" Reyna asked.

Circe crouched down to her level. "You see those two boats in the distance?" she asked, and the little girl nodded. "Over there."

Reyna opened her mouth to reply, but onscreen the missiles had reached their target and beautiful showers of red and orange flames could be seen as the boats sunk.

"So I just blew up those ships?" Reyna asked. She didn't ask it in a horrified matter, but in a curious one. She found nothing wrong with what she did.

"Yup," Circe replied, handing her back her hamster. "And then all the people on that ship are going to come over here to us for help, and we'll give it to them. They'll join our lovely happy family… if they like it or not."

Reyna wasn't sure, but she thought she saw the witch's eyes flicker toward Bunny. And she grinned.

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**Reyna is so cute and kiddie and innocent! I love my own work!**

**Review, please!**


	17. Dress Up Like a Moose in Hunting Season

**GODS HOUSE OF HADES I CAN NOT WAIT ANY LONGER.**

**I don't know why, but it was only two weeks ago that it actually hit me... oh, gods, the house of hades is coming. After that everything around me has felt unreal, like I'm living in a different reality space until the book comes out. I can't stop thinking about it! **

**UGH!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoO**

* * *

_**Starring Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang**_

"You know, Frank," said Hazel, resting her head against his arm as they walked through the leaves, "Canada is pretty."

This time they had come in October, since Hazel couldn't stand the cold of winter of from their last trip. Frank had taken her to the forests of British Colombia to show her the yellow, red, orange, and brown trees.

"Wouldn't it be cool if you could turn into a moose?" Hazel wondered aloud. "I could ride your back and we could frolic through the colourful wilderness."

"I'd actually prefer not," Frank told her. "It's open season."

"Yeah, I guess so. Although we're both wearing brown, the colour of the moose."

"Actually, in winter, their fur turns gray."

"How do you know that?"

"I googled it."

"Oh."

Pause.

"What's the plural of 'moose' anyway?"

"Moose."

"Are you sure, Frank? Let's see… One moose. Two meese. 'Mooses'? 'Meeses'?"

"Just moose, Hazel."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Although I still think it's 'meese'."

_Snap._

They froze. "Moose or monster?" Hazel asked in a low voice.

"I'd like to think the first one, even though it's probably the second," her boyfriend replied, reaching for his back-pocket demigod weapon.

Something loud rang out, startling Hazel. She stifled a scream.

But Frank visibly relaxed. "Hunting season," he said as if it answered everything.

Hazel sighed and scanned the horizon. Two teenage guys, each with a hunting rifle trained at them. She was so relieved that she and Frank didn't have to fight a monster that day she got mad.

She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "Yo, idiots! Stop shooting, we're people!"

The boys seemed confused at first at the talking moose, then seemed to realize their mistake. "Oh, God," they cursed as they stumbled over to apologize. Hazel stood there haughtily, pretending to be flustered, while Frank stood beside her and wondering what she was going to do.

"Sorry," said one of them apologetically. "We thought you guys were moose because of your coats."

"Moose," Hazel muttered. "How ironic."

"And notice how he said 'moose' and not 'meese'," Frank just had to add.

"Anyway, you should be more careful," she continued to scold the other boys as if Frank hadn't said anything. "You could have killed us, and even if we were _MEESE_… you shouldn't have hunted us anyway."

The boys looked at each other in misunderstanding. "Why not?" one of them asked. "These are legal hunting guns, and it's open season. We can shoot any moose we want… in this area."

"Yes, but do you _need _to hunt?" Hazel continued. Frank sighed, knowing this could take a while.

The guy frowned. "I guess not," he said.

"Is your family dying of starvation? Are you in desperate need of meat?"

"Not really…" said the second guy, confused.

"Then you should not be out hunting," Hazel told them. "This is a sacred place where animals have families and grow up and live. This is their home. And unless you have a real good reason for it, you should not be out here killing them for pleasure!"

"Yeah… but you should be more careful as well? This is open season, where things are killed for being out in the forest."

Hazel clung onto Frank's arm. "My boyfriend was showing me around Canada," she said.

The first boy nodded. "That's nice," he said. "You keep doing that." Then he and his friend marched off in the other direction, muttering about hunting and the plural of 'moose'.

"You know, now I'm really glad you didn't turn into a moose," Hazel told Frank as they walked off in their own direction.

He nodded. "I am too."

* * *

**Remember when I said Thalia only had one more chapter? Guess not, since this was the one.**

**Review, please.**

**(And yes I know the title is wrong. I have a limited amount of characters for that thing, you know.)**


	18. Annoy a Nest of Wasps for No Good Reason

**I don't own this. DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER!**

**And I know people are going to hate me because I used this character, but I DON'T CARE! This is cute...**

**(You: Ahem, Bookworm, but don't you realize the title is 'annoy a nest of wasps', when it should be 'disturb a nest'?  
Me: Ugh... I realize this. The title couldn't take the long amount of characters, I'm sorry.)**

* * *

_**Starring Octavian**_

Little seven-year-old Octavian got out of bed and wandered over to the bathroom next door, sleepy-eyed. He sat down on the toilet seat and brushed his teeth lazily, rubbing his eyes tiredly and yawning. He walked into his fuzzy blue slippers and marched downstairs, where his mother and father were sharing lazy chat over a cup of coffee early Saturday morning. His father was still in pyjamas.

"Good morning, champ," he greeted his son as he walked into the kitchen, yawning. "How'd you sleep?"

"Tired," Octavian muttered absently, sitting down in his mother's lap. His father worked as a physics teacher at the New Rome University while his mother had a job as a librarian every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. His father's grandfather was Apollo, which made Octavian a third generation demigod. His mother was a normal mortal citizen that had fallen in love with him. (Occasionally she'd come home one day, mention she had a chat with the butcher, be told the butcher was a Cyclops, and curse that darn Mist.)

"Oh, you poor baby," his mother said, playing with her son's blond hair. She kissed his cheek. "You want some breakfast?"

"Yes, please," he said, and was seated on another chair as his mother prepared some scrambled eggs.

"You know, Octopus," said his father, referring to Octavian by his pet name, "your mother and I have been talking about how these past few weeks we've stayed in and played it easy during the weekends."

Octavian yawned.

"…And so we decided we're talking a vacation," his mother finished, sprinkling some bacon on her son's eggs. "Not a big one, but just for the day. We're driving over to that park you really like to have a picnic." She served the eggs beside some sliced apple cubes and orange juice, playfully pressing his nose like a button.

"But it's like… noon," Octavian said, lazily placing a strip of apple in his mouth and munching on it softly. "Can we stay in for a few more… days?"

"What has made you so tired?" his mother asked. She frowned. "Octavian, did you stay up last night reading up on that book you like?"

Octavian yawned. "Maybe," he replied somewhere in between.

She sighed, resting her elbows on the rim of the back of her chair. "Thoughts?" she asked her husband.

"Hey, if Octopus here has finally found something he likes, then he should stick to it," he decided, sipping from his coffee. "Even if it is some crazy obsession with a book. What is it? Sybilline?"

"Yes, Dad," Octavian replied. "It's very interesting, and when I grow up I want to be Camp Jupiter's future seer guy. I forgot his actual title… too lazy to remember…" He drooped his head sideways onto his shoulder and snored.

His mother rolled her eyes good-naturally. "You're too lazy to do anything nowadays," she told him. "Now eat up. You're helping me pack the sandwiches."

**-o-O-o-**

When they finally reached the park, Octavian had woken up for the most part. He cheered and headed straight for the hills that seemed to endlessly roll along, and he sometimes like to run up and down them for thrills. Then after a few minutes he'd reach a tree and he'd climb to the top, sit there for a while and pretend he was king of the world, then climb down again and keep running.

And that was what he did that day. The second he was out of that car he was running like his life depended on it. The spring had brought pretty flowers to the hills, and the grass grew wild and untamed. He caught sight of bees fluttering around, gathering pollen to make their honey. For a while he had stopped to observe one, how it flew from flower to flower and then back to its hive.

There were also butterflies and birds to be seen. His mother followed him around for a while, snapping pictures of him making goofy faces and performing handstands and all that awesome nonsense.

Then they had lunch, and Octavian had to watch out for ants. They crawled all over the picnic blanket, and the cake for dessert had become inedible after a wasp flew onto it.

"I'll get it!" Octavian decided, chasing after it. It led him over several hills, and more than once he lost sight of it. The wasp flew over to a cluster of trees, where it hid among the branches. The little boy frowned.

"You're not getting away!" he shouted at it, and groped at the wild grass until he found a rock. He then took careful aim and threw it where he last saw the wasp.

"Ha!" he yelled victoriously, even though he had no idea if he actually hit his target. "I killed you! Killed you, killed you!"

Something snapped and fell out of the tree, rolling to Octavian's feet. It was a wasp's nest. Somehow he had hit it and dislodged it from the tree, angering several insects.

But he didn't realize this. He kicked the nest, unsure of what it was, but deciding it was the Universe's gift to him for murdering that wasp. Eventually he got tired of playing soccer with it when it snapped in half, and that was where most of his problems started.

For one, the wasps didn't take having their home destroyed by a seven-year-old well. They rose up in an angry swarm, determined to sting the enemy into oblivion. Also, Octavian wasn't a fast runner.

Two minutes later Octavian came to his parents covered in several wasp stings, crying his miserable seven-year-old heart out. He was rushed home right away, where his mother pulled out the stingers and applied ointment to his wounds. The family didn't have another picnic for a long time.

* * *

**This is a cute chapter, admit it.**

**Reviews are highly appreciated. (And, guess what, we just got a hundred! YAY!)**


	19. Stand on the Edge of a Train Platform

**Enjoy this chapter that actually has something to do with being a demigod!**

**Disclaimer: I can't believe I'm actually writing this out for each chapter. **

**PS: This is a continuation of the 'Hide in a Dryer' chapter.**

* * *

**_Starring Piper McLean  
_****_Guest Star of Tristan McLean_****_  
_**

Piper was crying. She and her father had just gotten out of a really bad fight about that whole hiding-in-the-laundry incident. That wasn't really the bad part. The bad part was that he was disappointed in her. It made her feel sad. Was she really not being the best daughter she could be? She grabbed her Sally doll and hugged it tightly, tears tracking down her cheeks and falling on her bed sheets. She fell asleep like that.

The next morning she felt refreshed and new, knowing what she was going to do. She set Sally aside and literally skipped down the staircase into breakfast.

"Someone looks happy," he father commented. "Did you think about what I said?"

"Yes," Piper decreed. "And I am determined to be a better little girl."

"Oh, that's wonderful," said Tristan. He set his coffee and newspaper aside and interlaced his fingers, placing his elbows on the table and resting his head on top. "So how's the rest of life treating you?"

"Wonderful," Piper said, pouring maple syrup on top of her blueberry waffles. "Summer is only two weeks away," she added nonchalantly.

"Yes, speaking of vacations, I think it is time we had one," said Tristan.

Piper looked up, the excitement visible in her cute little-kid eyes. "Really?" she asked.

The superstar nodded and took another sip from his coffee. "I was thinking Europe," he said. "For two weeks we go over there, and every other day we visit a new city or country. How does that sound like to you?"

Piper actually squealed. "Yes, Daddy, yes!" she cried, jumping around the kitchen in excitement. "Yes, yes, yes! I want to go to Europe! Can we go now? Please, please, please?" She ran over and gave her father a huge bear hug and huge puppy-dog eyes. _"PLEASE?"_

He laughed. "I meant in a few days," he said.

"Oh, but I can't wait!" she said, letting go and jumping around again. "I can't, I can't! I wanna go to Europe _now!"_

**-o-O-o-**

Two weeks later, Piper was jumping around in their hotel room doing the exact same thing.

"Daddy, daddy, I wanna go visit the London sites _now! _Now, now, now! I know we just got here, but I'm super excited and wanna go now! Can we see the Big Ben and the London Bridge and all those cool places? Please!?"

The next day Tristan took Piper out on the streets.

"But this is a secret vacation," he warned her as they walked. "We're incognito. That means no one knows I'm out here, so we can have a normal vacation without paparazzi flooding us. Okay?"

"Okay," Piper replied in a similar hushed whisper, liking the idea of being inside Cogni's toes, whoever Cogni was. It made her feel like a secret agent.

They arrived at the outdoor train station that would take them to all the good attractions. There were a lot of people, and Piper had to hold her father's hand so that she wouldn't get lost.

As they waited for their train, Piper noticed a few shady figures glaring at her. She figured they were the European version of the press that had recognized her father. She tugged his shirt and whispered, "Bad guys, six o' clock."

"Roger," he replied, and looked behind them. Piper tugged on his shirt again.

"No, not _that_ six o' clock," she said, and pointed right at one of the mysterious figures. _"That _six o'clock."

Tristan frowned. "But that's four o' clock."

Piper looked around and gasped. "And now twelve o' clock! They're everywhere!"

"That's still four o' clock, Piper."

A train rolled into the station and more people boarded than got off. This emptied out the area quite a bit, and the figures were left more exposed. Tristan tried to give Piper a lesson on speaking in codes, but she interrupted him by pointing out that their train had arrived.

"Oh, good," he said. "Let's go—"

He had barely finished his sentence when a particularly large gust of wind sent his hat flying above and away, landing several yards off and being swept away by the crowd.

Tristan frowned. "I'm going to go get my hat," he decided. "Piper, go stand next to the train so I know where you are." And he set off.

Piper did as she was told and waited, leaning against the railing that kept people from falling onto the rails. A few people greeted her politely as they walked by, and to amuse herself Piper tried to mimic their accent. She found it quite hilarious, but got a few mean looks from the locals.

There. A hooded man. Wearing all black, and looking very suspicious. Piper knew it was crazy, but the part of her that thirsted for adventure began to make up a story for this man as he boarded the train. He was an assassin for this secret organization that hunted famous people down for their wealth. No, no, that was too violent. He was a _persuader_ that _persuaded_ famous people into giving up their money to his organization. There. That was nicer.

She wasn't aware of the falling, just that she was standing there one moment, the next on her back on the train tracks below with scraped elbows and hands. She didn't know how she had fallen, and if she was thinking straight she would have realized she was pushed. Piper cried out, but her breath was gone and it hurt to move. It had been a long and hard fall. Nevertheless, Piper tried to push herself up, but couldn't. Her shirt had gotten stuck on the rails and she couldn't move.

The black figured man stepped into view. He regarded her for a moment, his expression unreadable from under his hood. For a few hopeful seconds Piper thought he was going to help her, but then he turned his back to the rails and walked away casually as if nothing was wrong. But there was a split-second that Piper saw beneath his hood at his face, and it was the face of something she had never seen before. A monster.

The train roared once. Second last call for boarding passengers. Piper tried to cry out, but her voice was drowned out by the hundreds of other people around her and the yells of the train calling for attention. Her fingers traced back to where her shirt was caught and tried to yank herself free. It stung on her hands.

Last call for boarding passengers, then the train was leaving the station. "Help!" she finally yelled, and for the first time was heard. A woman in a business suit caught sight of her, and in panic began screaming for the train to stop. Piper was given help and was hauled out of harm's way. She began to cry and was brought to her father, who had been worried of where she had gone.

"Oh, Pipes," he muttered in her ear as they embraced. "I was so worried."

"I was too," she sobbed.

Only a few yards away, the black figure scowled. He had been looking forward to tonight's demigod meal.

* * *

**Ooh... Piper almost died. I think so that she (and more importantly, the author) feels better you should review. Just to acknowledge her hardships and stuff.**


	20. Go Around the Gates at a Level Crossing

**This chapter is one of those that I love. It's also the second last chapter in the story. *cries***

**The disclaimer is something everyone knows I'm not repeating. For the twentieth time.**

* * *

**_Starring Percy Jackson  
_****_Guest Stars of Sally Jackson and Gabe Ugliano_****_  
_**

Percy pulled his mother out of the way and whispered to her, "Mom? Why do we have to go with _him?"_

Sally squatted down to her eight-year-old's height and tried to make him understand. "Because his '78 Camaro is very special to him, and we're going somewhere very far," she said. "And he doesn't want anything happening to it… us," she corrected.

Percy's face contorted with confusion and complaint. "But… two hours?" he asked.

She placed her hands on his shoulders. "Maybe one and a half if the traffic isn't bad," she told him. She stood and offered him her hand. "Come on."

**-o-O-o-**

The traffic wasn't bad. It was merciless.

Sally had simply needed to retrieve some documents for Percy's next boarding school. But Gabe wanted to come along too, and for some reason insisted on driving.

"But I should drive," Sally protested. "I know the way."

"I'll figure it out," Gabe retorted, with a wave of the hand as if it were no big deal.

"But you don't even know where to start to look!"

Gabe pointed to himself. _"My_ car," he said pointedly. _"I_ drive."

Sally stared at him. "Percy, get in the car," she ordered without looking at him.

Percy didn't understand that the argument was about to get worse. "Why?" he asked, leaning against the underground parking lot's wall.

"Percy," his mother repeated sternly, "get in the car."

He did. She was using _that tone._

He couldn't hear what continued outside, but Percy could tell his mother and Gabe were having a very heated discussion over who drove. Did it really matter in the end? It mattered to Sally, apparently. Once Gabe began to yell at her, Percy turned away and plugged his ears. Seriously?

Finally Sally relented and allowed Gabe to drive. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove out of the city, following his 'gut instinct' on where the place was. Percy could tell by his mother's angered expression that he was driving in the wrong direction. She'd sort of huff out of her nose heavily whenever he made a wrong turn, and then he knew he had to go back.

Finally Gabe couldn't take it any longer. "What do you want from me, woman!?" he demanded.

"To let me drive!" she exclaimed. "You have no idea where you're going!"

"Yeah, I do! To that place you mentioned earlier."

Sally closed her eyes and rubbed her eyelids with the pads of her fingertips. "Gabe, you can be so _infuriating_ sometimes…"

They reached a train crossing and Gabe had to stop, and they were seated in an angered silence. Percy felt like he shouldn't be there, listening on to their arguments. After a minute or two Gabe looked down both sides of the track and announced, "I don't see a train coming."

"So?" Sally asked.

"This is wasting my time."

She then seemed to realize what he was considering. "Gabe, don't even think about it," she ordered.

"No trains are coming," he said. "And look. That space over there? I can totally drive this car around that."

Percy plugged his ears with his fingers and placed his head between his legs in the crash position.

Sally began to say something else, but since Gabe was so angered and annoyed by their earlier discussion he pulled out of idle and drove forward.

"This is why I don't like it when you drive," she said. She trailed her eyes upwards at the video camera watching them. "We're going to die _and_ get a ticket."

"So? I'll add them with the rest."

"Gabe, you have to _pay_ those."

"I know. I just don't."

Percy was the first to notice the train far off in the distance. "Guys…?" he started.

"But that's _illegal," _Sally tried to explain. "You did something wrong, you pay for it. That's how it works."

"Yeah, but that's not how _I_ work. They give me a ticket, I stick it in here." Gabe reached out and pulled on the passenger compartment, revealing a heck of a heap of driving tickets.

Sally breathed in deeply and held it, displaying the fact that she wanted to rip Gabe's head off but was restricting herself from doing so. "How many of those do you have?" she asked.

Percy reached out and tugged his mother's T-shirt sleeve. "Mom?" he asked.

"Not now, Percy," she dismissed him.

"But this is important…"

She turned to face him. "What?" she demanded, extremely irritated.

"There's a train coming toward us."

Her eyes widened, and she elbowed Gabe in the gut, forcing his foot down on the pedal. The car lurched to a start, narrowly missing the boom gate that was supposed to keep cars from doing what they just did. They skidded sideways out of the way and left black tire marks on the road. The car performed a one-eighty that would have been epic in any other situation, just in time to catch sight of the train rush past where they had just been.

The three of them sat there for a moment, not moving in shock.

Sally was the first to recover. "And this is why I don't let you drive," she said, undoing her seatbelt. "Everyone. Out now."

"Why?" Gabe demanded, but Sally's tone was threatening enough that he did so anyway. Percy opened his door and slipped outside.

"Because we are waiting for the police to come so that _you_ can explain what just happened," she explained. "And then _you_ are going to pay for the charges given, and all these other tickets." She flourished a hand at the compartment of tickets."

"Oh," he said.

**-o-O-o-**

"So what you're saying is that your step-father drove around the boom gates... because he was mad at your mother because of their argument?" the policeman clarified.

"Yes," said Percy. "If you take him to jail I wouldn't care. I actually encourage it."

The officer grinned. "Well, then, you're in luck," he said, and out of the corner of his eye Percy spotted a protesting Gabe being stuffed in the back of a police cruiser, his hands handcuffed behind him.

He grinned. "Sweetness," he said.

* * *

**Ah, Gabe. You know, you've gotta remember that there was a guy before the awesome Paul.**

**For every review is another year Gabe gets to rot in jail! (Not really, but let's pretend.)**


	21. Run Via the Tracks Between the Platforms

**THAT MOMENT YOU REALIZE THE HOUSE OF HADES IS RELEASED TOMORROW.**

**O.O**

_**... Can't ... take it ...**_

***dies***

**(I swear, I am ****_this_**** close to getting a job at the nearest book store [even though I'm not old enough to ****_have_**** a job] just so that I can illegally go through the boxes of the House of Hades and read a copy.)**

* * *

_**Starring Reyna  
**_**_Guest Star of Hylla_**_**  
**_

Five hours.

That's how long Reyna had been running after she'd escaped Blackbeard and those monstrous pirates.

It hadn't been easy. For months and months she and Hylla had trained themselves in the art of weapons (when they weren't mopping decks or delivering messages or performing other cabin boy things).

One night while they were docked somewhere in California, they tried their escape. But something went amiss and they were forced to fight.

Hylla swung her blade, and the sound of metal on metal pierced the silent night. Reyna ducked under a fist, trying to manoeuvre around her pirate, but he was just too big. He shoved her along to the edge of the boat, threatening to push her over.

"Reyna!" Hylla shouted. "Jump! Get off the ship! I'll catch up to you!"

Reyna glanced at her sister, saw how she was fighting two pirates at the same time. She'd be fine. Reyna wasn't.

She so turned and dove into the water.

**-o-O-o-**

Reyna came to a stop at a train station. Her clothes had finally dried out, and she was exhausted. The twelve-year-old fell to her knees and panted, waiting for her breath to return. She had run all night.

Then she cried. She cried until she had no more tears, then simply sobbed. She sobbed until morning came, until she was too exhausted to do anything other than sleep. She had nightmares of pirates hanging Hylla on a noose, like what people used to do to pirates back in the day. When she awoke her first thought was that her sister had been recaptured by the pirates and killed, and began to cry again. That was until someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

Reyna turned to find her sister knelt beside her, smiling sorrowfully. "Hey," she whispered.

The twelve-year-old gasped and hugged her sister, tears coming more continually now. "I thought you were killed," she sobbed, her face pressed against Hylla's shoulder.

"I'm fine," she reassured her, running her fingers through Reyna's long and tangled black hair. But she was obviously not fine. She had cuts and bruises and was bleeding horribly. One eye was swollen and she had cut off a strip of her shirt to use as an improvised bandage around a nasty wound on her leg. It was soaked in blood.

Reyna began to cry of happiness. "We escaped the pirates," she said, and the simple phrase almost made her laugh. Almost.

But Hylla wasn't as joyful. "Reyna, you need to know something," she told her. "There's this camp nearby—I heard about it while we were with Circe. A lot of our family…" She stopped herself, swallowing. "I mean friends from the island came from there. It's called Camp Jupiter. For demigods and legacies like us." She hesitated. "And I want you to go there."

"But… where will you go?" Reyna asked.

Hylla hesitated. "Seattle," she said, then nodded firmly. "Yes, that is where I will go. I will take this train and go to Seattle." She placed both hands on her sister's shoulders. "But you must promise me that you will not follow me and go to Camp Jupiter."

"I…"

"Promise me, Reyna." Hylla stared at her right in the eyes, cold and firm. She knew there was no getting out of this.

"I promise. I will go to Camp Jupiter, like you want."

"Good," said Hylla, nodding. "Good." She pointed across the train tracks toward the highway. "It's over there," she said. "Traffic this point in the afternoon is terrible, so you will be able to squeeze around the cars to the center. When they ask you who you are, tell them you are Reyna, daughter of Bellona."

Reyna nodded. "I will do this," she replied. "But what do you wish to find in Seattle?"

Hylla hesitated before replying. "The Amazons," she said. "I've heard about them, and wish to join them. I don't know why. I just feel a need to go there." She turned back to her younger sister. "Trust your instinct, Reyna. It will get you out of many scraps alive."

She nodded. "I will remember," she announced, and the sisters embraced one last time.

"I love you," said Reyna.

"Oh, I love you too," Hylla replied, cradling her head. They pulled apart. "Now go. The sooner the better."

Reyna nodded and stood. The last view she had of her sister for a long time was her sitting there at the train station, beaten and bruised, but beaming as if she were queen of the world.

_Go, _she mouthed.

Then Reyna turned and sprinted and didn't stop. She ran across the train tracks, and when people yelled out for her to stop she pushed right past them. She ran out of the train station toward the highway, jumping over the fence and sprinting between the cars. Commuters honked at her and people rolled down their windows and cursed, but she didn't stop for them or far anything else. She didn't stop until she reached the tunnel, where she fell to her knees, gasping for breath. She didn't know for how long, but after a while a pair of strong arms helped her to her feet.

"Who are you?" the boy asked.

"Reyna," she panted. "Daughter of… Bellona."

The boy grinned. "Hey," he said. "I'm Jason."

* * *

**And because I know this question is coming, YES I am a Jeyna fan. And YES, I am totally expecting the Romans to attack CHB in the special book that is released tomorrow, because if not I am going to die because of the other year wait.**

**Anyway, thank you to everyone who read this story! It makes this my third story that has more than a hundred reviews, and I'd like to thank everyone who supported me along the way and blah blah blah... *goes on ranting about other acknowledge-mental stuff you and I really don't care about***

**Now the good part.**

**THE HOUSE OF HADES COMES OUT TOMORROW. **

**PREPARE FOR ALL HADES TO BREAK LOOSE.**

**-Bookworm ;P**


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